What if you love God and have spent most of your life attempting to serve Him, but you’re gay? You’re attracted to other men, no matter how hard you try not to notice. You don’t act on your attractions. Yet they don’t go away, no matter how far away you run. You’re celibate because you believe God’s plan is marriage between a man and a woman. So it’s not about living in sin. You wish God would change you, but He doesn’t seem to be in a hurry. The possibility of remaining alone is overwhelming, but sharing your burden with other believers seems difficult because of the risk of being condemned. You wonder if God is even concerned, because no matter how hard you pray about your circumstances, nothing changes.
This has been my greatest hurdle. I’m not in a relationship. Nor am I putting myself in a place where I can be tempted. But I’m also stuck. Most Christian circles would automatically judge me no matter how far I run from temptation. Or they try to set me up with a single woman, expecting some miracle to happen. I can’t pursue a female and be dishonest about my feelings. Nor can I ignore my struggle without a fight. Even in worship, I become distracted by other men. I know God has a purpose for everything. But if I say that, most Christians automatically assume that I’m either being demonized or I’m struggling with my own sin and God is waiting for me to lay it at the Cross for the umpteenth time.
This is my faith hurdle. –Stephen