Starting with this sounds very wise. I see strength in it. This is how Jesus prayed when it was too big, too, with others who could he wanted to help him (even if they did fall asleep). I’m thankful God has given you something to begin with.

Your friend sounds wonderful!
Jonalyn

thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to me today.

May all of you be blessed beyond measure for your faithfulness!

Regards
Marli

We were looking at Revelation 8:3,4 which describes an angel pouring out a bowl of incense upon an altar, creating smoke that rose up before God. And when the smoke reached God, something happened in the earth. The incense consisted of the prayers of the saints.

In my mind’s eye–at that time-I imagined or saw what looked like an oily substance that was both golden and blue, kind of like what we see in a hot flame. For some reason, I knew or understood that the incense was a mixture of two types of prayers. The gold was the prayer of confidence when we know beyond a shadow of doubt that God will work when we call upon Him. But the blue was the prayer of suffering, when we keep on praying through doubt. Both types of prayer consisted of faith. One was just harder to collect because of the cost to the individual.

This image seemed to make sense at the time, because I had an understanding that flames are different colors because of the intensity of the temperature. So why wouldn’t prayers be represented by different colors as well?

But the point seemed to be that the bowls were FULL of incense before they were poured out over the flame of the altar in Heaven. Therefore, it seemed apparent at the time, that sometimes our prayers seem to go unanswered simply because the golden bowls are not yet filled.

I guess my encouragement to you is to remain faithful through this season of doubt. Perhaps God is calling you to fill the bowls of intercession with the prayers of suffering, not just for yourself, but for others around the world who may not even have faith to pray.

I get the impression, from the passage, that no prayer goes unanswered. Not a single drop of the incense is wasted or cast aside by the angel. It all eventually is poured out upon the altar and burned in order to reach the nostrils of God Almighty.

So in your suffering, value your intercession for others who may not have the strength to pray right now. And realize, that someone somewhere else in the world is also praying for you, thereby filling up the bowl with the incense of intercession. Only God knows the size of the bowl and how close it is to being poured out over the flame.

You are wise and bold to ask this question. I love your honesty. You are hitting what C.S. Lewis calls the feeling that you ask God for help and all you hear is the bolting and double bolting of his door in your face.

Your struggle sounds familiar to me. Where is God’s love in this? It is a big part of every Christian’s growth to ask this.

So first, this is good and healthy for you to ask.

Second, I love Chris’ response that God is not going to skip parts of Jesus’ own journey if you really want to be like Jesus.

The deeper and crucible making question is, how do you re-visit your God when he doesn’t do what we think is better and good?

how do you trust him with prayer requests and remake your prayer life if you currently are doubting his love?

I’m assuming a lot here, so if I’m wrong about this please let me know.

If you’re feeling God is not trustworthy with asking, or just ignoring you, then it’s time to use THIS as material for prayer.

Tell God you believe he is untrustworthy, let that sit in your conversations, for it will be truth and he can work and love you in that.

God cannot love your false self offered in prayer. If you don’t want to pray, tell him that. This, too is true prayer.

http://www.soulation.org/sphider/search.php?query=pray&start=1&search=1&results=10&type=and&domain=

Notice my three part series, “Why I Pray” and Dale’s “The Problem of Prayer.”

Please let us know if any of this does or does not help!
Jonalyn

What a great question. I can’t say how much I’ve been struggling with this myself lately. I’ve been sick for several years and for about a year now it’s so bad I’m basically bedridden. I’m only 21 and this kind of thing is only supposed to happen to old people, right? I pray every night for healing and my church and friends all over the world have been praying for years, but I’m still sick. Like you I know in my head that pain and suffering are a consequence of Sin, but lately it seems my heart can’t comprehend that it isn’t God being vindictive or something.

What I keep coming back to are the basic truths of being a Christian. God sent His only Son to die an excruciatingly painful and humiliating death so that we wouldn’t spend eternity suffering His absence in Hell. So If He was willing to suffer for me so I wouldn’t have to experience the ultimate suffering of being apart from His presence in eternity, then I have to believe that He doesn’t want us to suffer, but allows it so we can have free will to choose Him.

I know that’s probably really flawed logic and it’s not very concrete, but it’s what helps me.

I’ll be praying you find peace on this issue.

God bless,

Chris