Is artificial reproductive technology “playing God” or treating a disease of the reproductive system?”

May 24, 2012 by Admin

My husband and I had trouble conceiving, as I have very painful Endometriosis. We have 5 children and conceived after many surgeries and fertility drugs (we did not do IVF, but we may have). We had prayed and sought Christian counseling before committing to treating my infertility as a disease. We had two singleton pregnancies, and no one made a comment. Our third pregnancy ended up in a triplet pregnancy/birth. Now all we get are questions from other Christians about how we were “playing God” to the point where people felt that we didn’t deserve any help at all….no meals (a normal routine for our church), no one came to help us at home, even our family felt we had “played God” and refused to babysit (still do). It’s been years, and I get to be alone with my husband only when the kids are at school. Is choosing to treat infertility as a disease really that horrible? Our pastor seemed to think it was fine, but no one else seems to.

This is my faith hurdle. —Kayla

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Image credit: singingthroughtherain.com

David

Kayla, I think your story is all too common in our perfect American two-child-home society. I assure you, it doesn’t just affect families like yourself who chose medical help. The stigma follows anyone who exceeds the socially acceptable family size.

In terms of your specific dilemma, where the Bible leaves room for interpretation no one has room to judge. You sought natural and supernatural guidance and made your decision with no carelessness, I’m sure. Keep in mind, God could just have easily thwarted your medical efforts if it was not your time to have children. And how many of the people who have children without medical intervention inquire of God for His blessing? Are they more righteous because they didn’t need a doctor’s expertise?

You have done what is right in God’s eyes: blessed this world with souls He created. I’m sorry that you haven’t received the help a community should provide. Your role as a parent is harder for it. Don’t make it any more difficult by accepting the false guilt of foolish observers. Enjoy your five children and train them listen to the Spirit rather than society so they don’t make the same mistake as the critics around you.
- Sophia
  
  “…where the Bible leaves room for interpretation no one has room to judge.”
  
  Amen to that. Kayla, I am praying for you and your family, that your situation at church and with your family will be healed. I encourage you talk to your pastor and ask for his advice on handling these people, if you have not already. If he thinks you have done nothing wrong, I would hope he would set the example to the congregation.
http://heretichusband.blogspot.com Heretic Husband

Infertility treatments are no more “playing God” than wearing eyeglasses.
- http://www.soulation.org Jonalyn
  
  Heretic Husband brings up an important point. We all need to consider why we draw the line between some scientific intervention and not others.
  
  I believe we all have a line (e.g. euthanasia, cloning for donor harvesting, gender-selective abortion), but the significant issue is if we have justified reasons for it.
  
  My thought is, as David wrote above, that the lack of support your current community is offering indicates more about their discomfort with the way your family is different from them.
  
  Every community driven and maintained by fear must lop of the highest poppy, so they don’t look so short.
  
  My recommendation is that your community does not give you freedom to follow God as he leads.
  
  I don’t see your family or your choices to invite more children into your life as playing God.
http://mommyhoodtrenches.blogspot.com/ Bonnie

Kayla, I am so sad for you. It seems ridiculous to be supported through singleton pregnancies, but not through a mulitples pregnancy, despite the fact that the babies were all seemingly conceived the same way. What a hurdle all of us who struggle with infertility face. Am I not more deserving in God’s eyes, just because it took more than “the old fashioned way” to conceive?? All these are God’s children and are blessings no matter how or why they came to be!
Elizabeth

First of all, I am so sorry for the way you are being treated. Infertility is a disease and it is no different treating it as someone would treat diabetes or even cancer. I was also infertile. My tubes were blocked and after prayer & research we did IVF. We were blessed with a singleton. Since we transferred all the embryos we acquired through IVF (only 2) we decided to try other therapies for future children, if God intended it. IVF is very hard on a woman’s body. We did physical therapy (a very unique and special kind http://www.clearpassage.com) to clear my tubes and after the therapy & more tests…my tubes were open. We were pregnant with our 2d daughter 10 mos later. We haven’t had any other children since…our youngest is almost 2. We have no idea if we are planning more. So…is that considered “playing God” according to your church & family?

Playing God has nothing to do with it. There are times where I really had to search my soul and pray for a personal revelation in our situation. IVF was no small decision. It’s all in your perspective and if the couple is truly following God. What bothered me is that several couples told us that they would never do IVF and they’d adopt instead. BUT…those couples have zero problems conceiving…unless you’re infertile, you just don’t know what your decision would be.

I am, again, very sorry that you’ve been treated like that. My heart goes out to you. No matter how a child is brought into the world…the child(ren) deserve love and acceptance. What about a child out of rape…a child created out of sin…so that child is bad? Even if you did make a bad decision (and that’s only between you & God and NO ONE else) why should children be shunned for it?

Bless you as you move forward in your life.
http://www.searchingandgrowing.com Jennifer

I agree with both David and Heretic Husband. The general response to those with large families is, “Are they crazy? Don’t they know how much it costs to raise a family these days?”

When it comes to the people in your church, they are being inconsistent in their responses. They don’t condemn you when you have just one baby, but when it’s three, well…the reaction is different.

Heretic Husband said it well. I was thinking that if we had diabetes, we would seek help. Would that, then, be playing God?

I pray that someone will come into your life that will give you some community. I am so sorry that you are enduring this!
Mandy L

Kayla, children are a blessing. I don’t see God looking at us pointing in condemnation because the children were conceived in a test tube. I personally am only bothered by methods that sacrifice human life deliberately, ignoring the rights of the lives taken. If people decide to stand in judgement to the point they won’t help with your children on the sole reason of their judgement against your method, then they are putting their particular convictions above their duty in community, and the welfare of you and your family. If they would otherwise help out and spend time with your children, then they are being very arrogant. By putting one idea ahead of the nurture of children, they are saying that it’s OK to ostracize a person based on things out of their control. It’s ignorant – parallel to ostracizing children with Ausberger’s Syndrome because they don’t “fit in.” Jesus had some choice words about people forbidding children – i.e. putting up man-made barriers because of unhealthy adult ideas.
I’ve not been able to successfully have children either. Over the next 5 years we’re going to have to either go the fertility route or adopt if nothing changes.
To me the bottom line is this: children deserve all of the love and support we can give. If someone denies a child that for any reason, then they don’t have their values based in how God sees things. These people have created a prison for themselves that they see through their special glasses as a palace of righteousness.
Hope

Kayla,

I wish we could know if you live near us so that we can help with childcare and meals! That is, if you are comfortable with the idea.

Dale and Jonalyn, is this against the protocol for My Faith Hurdle?

Hope
Me myself and I

I’ve kind of wondered about this as well. I’ve also wondered if God didn’t like it when people adopt, because I have heard people say, “if you can’t have babies, then God doesn’t want you to have babies.” I don’t think that’s true. God created these things for a reason…I believe he gave doctors the wisdom to create this reproductive technology so that people like you could have children.

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