How do I find a positive spiritual community?

July 19, 2012 by Admin

I’m going through a lot spiritually right now. Like a transformation. But I don’t feel like I have good community within circles that identify themselves as “Christian” (whatever that even means anymore!). When I go to church, I feel like the music is a lot of emotional hype, and we listen to the pastor (who is awesome, by the way), but then no discussion happens. My church has small groups during the week, but they are impractical for me because of driving distance and having a baby whose bedtime clashes with any of those type of events. I love my church, but I feel like I don’t identify with American Christian culture anymore at all. It’s about as inspiring to me as reading trolls on YouTube.

I want to find an Aslan-following community of believers who will let me exercise my spiritual gifts as a woman and who sees the difference between Christian culture and Jesus following. How does one go about finding a house church or organic community that isn’t inbred and cult-like. And if I do, what is my current obligation to my box church, where I’m a full-fledged member?

This is my faith hurdle. –Savannah

Eric

I could have written this post. I wish I could answer for you, because I could answer for me. I live in a town where you can literally see three or four churches *per mile*, and I don’t know how to figure out which one is going to fit me.
http://www.soulation.org Jonalyn

Savannah,

Your questions resonates with me as I’ve asked it time and again.

Let’s boil down your top desires
1- use your gifts as a woman
2- Aslan community
3- go deeper in conversation

Honestly, your desires prove to me that you are a growing Christian, hungry for more than spoon-fed ideas. You want to be challenged and challenge others.

I love your passion and hunger. And I’m saddened so few churches are making it possible for women to fully stretch out and use their gifts.

My recommendation is to discover what you want to do with your gifts. For instance, I have a sharp mind and high emotional intelligence. I like to use these gifts in leading discussions, so instead of attending a church and leading a small group (which is a viable way to use your gifts) I attend a book club with mostly nominal or unpracticing Christians. It gives me a chance to lead in ideas and discussions where a church may not permit me to lead.

I also recommend you find like-minded believers either online (I welcome you to pop over to http://www.RubySlippers.org to find some like-minded women) or in your community.

Church, in my study, means gathering or an assembly. Anytime you gather with those who know Jesus you are Churching together. And even on your own behind your laptop you are the church.

The only and best way to make or find an organic community is to observe what makes things organic
- natural: no set glossy invitations to go to a church function to get saved
- spontaneous: spiritual conversation erupting over a meal with friends, confession arising out of a coffee shop get together and not necessarily a small group
- homegrown: less imported talent and more observation of who is near you that you can listen to and share with

Your obligations to the body of Christ are the same whether you’re attending a box church or are a member or not. We are commanded to love those of the faith, this means we pay attention to the Spirit and let him have his whimsical, adventurous way. This may mean stopping attending Sunday mornings, but starting a discussion group with friends you know care about talking about Jesus.

A good book on the subject is “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” it really gave me a lot of hope.

Finally, your hunger for a body of believers who see the difference between Jesus following and Christian culture is why Dale and I began the Soulation Gatherings. Most people who come feel precisely like you.

They are looking for their tribe and by the week’s end, they’ve found them. I hope you’ll consider applying for a Gathering in the future: http://www.soulation.org/gatherings/

I hope others will comment in as well.
- Sophie
  
  Thanks for the great suggestions! I appreciate the practicality of them. I have been struggling with the same things Savannah has written about – in fact I almost felt like she pulled the words right out of me. I am definitely going to get the book you recommended, as I haven’t wanted to go to a church in a long time.
- Savannah
  
  Jonalyn,
  Your words are like a balm and yet they are also practical. Thanks for taking that time to help me out! I can tell you’ve been there.
  
  The book club idea sounds fantastic. I can’t wait to find something along those lines that works for my set of gifts (I need to do some journaling and see if I really understand what those gifts are yet.).
  
  I think with my past struggles with religious addictions, I would do well to move away from box church as much as is practical and be more grassroots. From what I have seen, this seems pretty taboo. Jesus-followers who don’t go to a traditional church are often questioned and their relationship with Jesus is thought to be faltering. For me, this is the furthest thing from the truth. It is growing by leaps and bounds and I think I need to move away from all the traditions in order to see Jesus better. On a personal level, have you also witnessed or experienced any negativity in this area?
  
  Can’t wait to check out the book! And I did speak with Dale via Facebook regarding the Gatherings. Unfortunately, I will be unable to attend until my daughter is weaned. She’s almost 9 months right now, so it will be a while before that happens (I hope!).
  - http://www.soulation.org Jonalyn
    
    Yes, I have experienced negativity in this area, it more comes in the form of misunderstanding, however. People don’t understand how you can grow to love Jesus outside of regular, weekly meetings.
Tyler

My answer to the proposed question, find a truth centered community. If the objective is positiveness alone (as mentioned in the title), you can find that anywhere and still miss what you hoped for. If the objective is to be as biblically centered as possible, I would assert that it will not always be “positive” in the sense that means happy or mirthful, but a biblical centered community would likely help produce a heavenly perspective (by the Spirit) which, though dealing with reality, will ultimately result in fruit like peace and joy.

Practically speaking, I would say that trusting God is a critical piece in finding where He’s called you. Find a community that faithfully submits to and teaches the Bible, that is actively pursuing Christ in love and unity, that does not downplay sin or cater to your flesh, and that will allow you to use the gifts God has given you. Websites and connections help with this search, but finding the right community will be a byproduct of prayer, and nothing else.

I am not unfamiliar with the supreme discontentment that arises within the institutional church. I would say this; even if you feel that the program’s are more for programs sake than peoples sake, look at the people not the program. Seek those that God would have you humbly serve. Submit to those around you in reverence, but always point them to Jesus our Lord.

I have struggled int he past with where I find authority. I personally believe that authority is found in the Word (and its proper hermeneutical explanation) not in any persons office. However, I also recognize that God puts people over me for a reason, and even if I disagree with the system, God wants me to grow in humility.

If you really feel stifled, or feel that you cannot serve the people of your current church, pray about what to do. I recently changed fellowships myself, and yet I knew that God didn’t want me to be bitter about my former fellowship.

My encouragement, let unity and truth be your focus as you prayerfully seek those whom God would have you serve. It’s not always about finding people who love Aslan and want nothing more than to seek His face, but sometimes, God wants to use us as the tools to produce this thirst in others. Help them want truth my friend. Love on the brokenhearted and be sure to focus on God’s interaction with you more than the limitations of your church.

He has broken every chain,
Tyler
Anastasia

My struggle exactly! I either visit a church where the teaching is weak, but the people are great, or the other way around. I was worried I am too critical. It is comforting to know I’m not the only one struggling with this. I attend a Bible study with amazing women from different backgrounds and we all learn a lot. I’m going to read the “I don’t want to go to church anymore”. Thanks for all the input
Pingback: Soulation | Imperfect yet provocative church
Pingback: Imperfect yet provocative church | BreakfastReading

Patrick Meyers on What if you never hear the gospel message?: #4 hits the nail on the head, as far as I am concerned. The thing about Heaven is not so much about it being a... – May 14, 7:51 PM
Dale Fincher on What if you never hear the gospel message?: E, a very common fundamentalist and evangelical response about baby's going to heaven is to use 2 Sam 12 with the story of David's baby... – May 13, 12:50 PM
savedbyJ.C. on How do I love Jesus more?: You can have that passion an zeal that you desire by developing a more personal relationship with our Saviour, this can be achieved by studying... – May 09, 4:58 PM
seantrevor on What if you're a Christian AND gay?: Hi Stephen!! I understand the way you feel absolutely and I've been torn apart by similar feelings for many years. I'm now 60 and deep... – May 09, 2:13 PM
Mike Rodriguez on Is sex before marriage really all that wrong?: To the eyes of those who believe, yes sex before marriage is a sin as it is meant for a married man and woman. When... – May 09, 9:10 AM

How do I find a positive spiritual community?

Have a faith hurdle?

Recent posts

Recent Comments

Our Blogs

Our Blogs

How do I find a positive spiritual community?

Have a faith hurdle?

Recent posts

Recent Comments

Popular Posts

Our Blogs

Our Blogs