Much has been made of the organic, low sugar, low carb diets.
But this is not a post about eating well.
This is a post about mornings that are made of tears.
Last week I “lost it” over something not really proportionate with losing it.
My husband had not returned the car keys to their abode (back in the car, in the ignition). Living in the country means we do that.
He had kindly put the car keys on the car keys hook.
Makes sense, except we had an unspoken pattern of leaving them in the car.
So while my son was squalling to move, exhausted and an hour past his nap, I hopped into the car eager to roar us away to get some nap time.
Except, no keys.
I lost it.
Actually, I just sighed dramatically and confidently whipped open the glove box. Here was my extra stash of keys (now everyone knows this and I will have to find another spot to hide them).
Again, no keys.
I knew who the culprit was. I knew where the keys were: in my husband’s pocket, safely stowed up the hill where he was rehearsing the umpteenth detail with the contractor for our new home.
Yes, I do realize how spoiled I sound in this story, the married wife who is getting a home built, her husband managing the process, and the car keys, for a vehicle which we are lucky enough to own, are nowhere to be found.
Yes, it’s this latter bit that does me in. Yes, it’s a molehill that I’m making into a mountain.
And yes, I know I wrote a book with a chapter on not doing precisely that.
Okay, back to the story.
I march up the path swearing under my breath and rehearsing a lecture for my husband if he has misplaced both sets of keys and we can’t begin nap time.
One set rests calmly on their designated hook, which, interestingly enough, only makes me more angry because now I don’t have bigger reasons to be angry.
I harumph into the car and try to quiet myself so I stand a chance at authentically quieting my sobbing son.
But before I reach my seat, my husband appears from the construction site. He has a package in hand, something I ordered, and he gives it to me, delighted to see me receive new something.
When I explain my frustration, he apologizes and suggests he take our son for a drive for his nap.
I have none of it.
By the time I crank the engine, I’m aware that my husband’s quick apology has sent me over the edge.
I’m bawling as I bounce down the gravel road. My son is not tired anymore as much as he is curious why I’m making so much noise.
I can’t quiet my crying.
We hurl down the hill, and my son starts asking every few minutes, “Momma, you okay?”
To which I have to swallow and stutter, “Yes, sweetie, I’m okay.”
This is sort of true and sort of not.
It does help to cry.
It doesn’t help to cry while trying to tell your two year old you’re okay. I would like to tell him I’m processing. But he doesn’t know that word yet.
As soon as I get a good round of tears out and streaming, he would invariably pipe up again, “Momma? … Okay?”
Each time I began to believe my answer a little more, “Yes,” hiccup, snuffle, nose wipe, “I’m okay, sweetie.”
After a few minutes and a fresh round of tears my son stopped asking.
Then he said something that is perhaps the best line of comfort I’ve received. It’s the only thing that his world could offer to the complexities of my own. And I highly recommend it for anyone who is hurting over something as deep as car keys being lost.
“Momma?”
“Yes, Finn.”
“Donuts are yummy.”
That they are, my son, that they are.
________
Image credit: pinxecards.com/products-page/humor/keep-calm-eat-a-donut/


Thanks Jonalyn. Truly appreciated.
what a sweet caring boy!
that is a wonderful story to share. I have wept “over lost keys” many a time, and donuts are indeed yummy!;)
Personally, I have to keep calm and eat a carrot or something else low-calorie because I am working to defeat emotional eating.
Thanks for your willingness to share this story. You got angry, but as He always does, God gave you mercy and grace in Finn’s questions and caring.
Sometimes that happens to me – I’ll decide to be really irritated with Cory about something, and he’ll be his normal self and the sweetness will remind me of the bigger picture, and then I’ll be irritated that I can’t stay irritated, and then the flood of emotion from all of the stuff that was building up from everything else up to that moment, and it just comes pouring out. Happened to me during prayer time at the end of Bible study this morning. God put 2 Cor. 12:9 in my head. It was grace all over again telling me so I got overwhelmed, but it’s an opportunity now that I realized it, to let God speak to me through it.
I love your son’s soul. This story made my day.
Thank you for these kind comments. I hope I can continue to look for the moments in my day when God’s love breaks through, even through the two year old boy in my life.
Out of the mouth of babes, right?!
And isn’t is interesting that TODAY is national donut day?
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/today-national-doughnut-day-where-one-free-154658229.html
One time a very young son of mine offered from the back seat while driving into town for yet another round of errands, “Mommy, you wuv coffee.”
I went straight to Tim Horton’s drive-thru and got myself some. And some Timbits (donut holes) for the smart kid in the back of the car.
Thanks for being so human for us. And for sharing Finn.
I know we as humans and adults see the complexity of life and get weighed down. Tears help cleanse us of the emotional weights that we carry. I love how my children can give me beauty in the simplistic. They have a view of the world that is child-like..clean, simple, easy, pure. Yet, in their simplistic view is such great truths and lessons. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability and humanness to the rest of us. And for sharing Finn’s great truths!
Well you just took me back a bit…flashback to my single motherhood, when I did it all for a little man just like yours….i would go outside to have my ‘private meltdowns’, so Brandon wouldn’t know I was crying. We don’t realize just how what we do, is reflected back at us from our children. Many times, he would step outside on the stoop, wrap his arms around me and say, ‘it’s ok mommy, everything will be ok…’. So, donuts are yummy was the perfect distraction for a mom who just couldn’t take another detail of the day being not in order. I get it. I watched my two grand babies all by myself from Saturday at 4 pm from Monday to 3 pm. Alone and sick. Didn’t plan on the dsore throat, and cold invading my cherished weekend with my babies. Mom and dad needed a weekend away, so I served. Was I the most patient? no…..was I out of practice giving of myself to make sure everyone’s needs were met? yes…..! My grandson had been very naughty during the day, and one thing he loves is bedtime stories. I had told him, “no stories this evening.” As the night grew closer, I needed the decompression time with him to again be in love. When I said, “pick a book!” He replied, “but gramma you said NO story!”. He walked to the shelf…..and it was as though God was smiling and affirming my reniging on my rule. My grandson says, “The Bible, let’s read from the Bible…” I got very emotional, as my son wasn’t brought up even knowing much about Jesus, let alone wanting to read the Children’s version of it….My day instantly grew better, and I found my voice to read. Hudson asked, “where is Jesus right now?”. “Can he see us through the house?” etc….what a gift for a gramma who had everything sucked out during the day watching a 14 mo old and an almost 4 yr old…whew…restoration at it finest….I love Our God for that! He was indeed smiling down!
Joan,
This is making me cry… I love it.
I love the grace you gave your grandson.. and yourself.
And received buckets back from heaven.
Thank you so much for sharing!
This story made me chuckle and then squirm in my seat because I have done the same thing! Except it was because I was looking for a parking spot and someone stole a space that I had my eye on. It was on July 4th and I was taking my 4 yr. old granddaughter to the “Little Miss Independence” pageant being held downtown. Of course, parking was at a premium and I was frustrated. From the back car-seat, Mayce says, “Just breathe, Mamaw.” That’s my mantra now whenever I’m about to lose it. “Just breathe, Mamaw.”
What a delightful tip from Little Miss Independence! Love it… I’m actually going to be writing about moving mantras into prayers this month at Breakfast Reading! Stay tuned
“Look at the grass over here.”
-Jacob Taylor age 4
Exactly! I thought of that while I was writing this
Such sweet comfort in those young boys words.
Day 3 of summer vacation with all four kids home, and it’s hot and humid (yes, Im talking about yesterday in fact), Glenn should be coming in for lunch from our business (but, darn it, another customer just pulled in, so he has to stay out there; well, that’s what we do, right?), all four kids have been at it all morning, including the 2 year old biting the 6 year old, the 5 year old melting down during frisbee time and shrieking at everybody, the 8 year old wanting to be left alone, the 6 year old trying to get along with all and getting rejected by them, and here we are sitting down to lunch in our sticky chairs, and one says, “Mom, I don’t want this” while others start grabbing food as I’m calling them down, trying to get one more thing–a healthy thing–on the table, and all four start shrieking and squabbling simultaneously, and I yell,
“EVERYBODY BE QUIET!!!!”
And 3 are quiet; 1 is now crying.
And I pray for lunch, “God we need you right now; we need you to help us be kind to each other; we need you to fill us with your patience and love–”
And I am interrupted by the 2 year old, who takes over the prayer:
“And thank you for our lunch, Jesus. Thank you for mommy making lunch. And thank you for the day and our noodles. And help us be nice,” and he continues on for a while, and don’t you know the spirit of the Lord came into our dining room, and each one of us mellowed, smiled, breathed again (yes), and showed love and patience.
Thank God for sweet words from little people.
And thanks–again–for this post.