After school every day my kids and I run through a sort of “poor man’s” or maybe “cheap date” version of the Examen.
I ask: “What was the absolutely best, most awesomely-terrific part of your day?” and then “What was the most horrible, dreadful, poke-needles-in-your-eyes worst part?” Or some such.
And on one afternoon — just a few days into the new school year — my daughter answered that the best part had been singing in music class. I smiled and turned to ask her what made it great. She had missed singing with friends over the summer and it was fun to do it again. Although, she said, “I miss singing about Jesus. Because singing about Jesus with other people is really great.”
And with that, my heart sank. This fall, we made the prayerful and (we believe) God-led decision to take our kids out of the wonderful Christian school they had been attending and to send them to our local public school. The reasons for the switch were twofold: (1) financial and (2) because see the neighbor-kids going one way to school and my kids going another wasn’t jiving real well with my longing to be part of our community.
Even still, the decision was not made lightly nor without some tears. However, we felt God’s blessing in what we considered to be an act of obedience. My kids ended up genuinely excited to switch and to experience something new, and they seemed to love their new school from the start.
My daughter’s words about not getting to worship with her friends were the first negative I had heard. But those words were whoppers.
Although I tried to remind her that she would be able to sing with others in church and at the various ministries she attended at church and though I reminded her that working hard in school and playing hard at recess and being kind to new friends is an act of worship, I knew it wasn’t the same. Losing an opportunity to “sing about Jesus with friends” is something worth missing. Probably something worth grieving.
I have to admit: as introverted as I am and as solitary and on-my-own as I prefer to do most things in life and as oddly mystical as I can get — feeling Jesus and worshipping him at every weird turn in life— there’s nothing I like more about the Christian life than corporate worship. Ask my family. Or eavesdrop on us on a Sunday morning. You’ll hear my kids whispering to one another: Hurry up. Otherwise we’ll miss Mama’s favorite part! They’ll tell you the monster I become if we’re running late and on the verge of missing those opening songs we all stand and sing together.
This is not my favorite part because I’m so musical or such a great singer; it’s my favorite part because I believe almost nothing here on earth is more wonderful than all sorts of sinners, from all walks of life, coming off of all sorts of weeks, angry at all different politicians, burnt out by all kinds of work, wrestling with all sorts of demons, standing together to sing out our love of Jesus. I love these unifying moments.
While we can (and should) all go through the rest of our lives being Jesus’ hands and feet in this world, worshipping him in all we do, there’s just something about his people gathering to worship in song and in prayer and in hearing God’s word — together.
It’s not magic, but it’s something close to it. And while I’m sad my daughter is missing out on one more opportunity to do this, I’m thrilled that she actually misses it.
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Image credits: flickr.com/photos/katinthecupboard and flickr.com/photos/33104080@N08/
Yes, you bring up something important, this recurring question from Christians, “Do we send our kids to Christian or secular school?” And though I think it’s different for each child, people are pulled in all directions, very opinionated about this. Financial reasons are big in our decision to go public with our children, but that second reason you give resonates louder with me, “because see[ing] the neighbor-kids going one way to school and my kids going another wasn’t jiving real well with my longing to be part of our community.”
I understand that you’re saying there is something missing when we aren’t singing in fellowship, singing amidst eternal brothers and sisters. This would be discouraging. And it’s so difficult to sing God’s praises when I’m not around other brothers and sisters. But shouldn’t I learn to be the kind of Christian who sings His praises anyways? I’m not there yet. But it sounds like a good place.
Right. This wasn’t meant to say pubic praise or corporate worship are the only (or even best!) ways to praise or worship. Just that they are wonderful ways. : )
…I love corporate singing together about Jesus, too, whether with the kids in our kids’ program [one of our goals with that ministry was to plant songs in hearts and hope to hear them throughout the week, spontaneously, from the kids], with everybody in our worship service, or with just the family in the car.
Very insightful of your daughter to be able to articulate exactly what she misses.
Enjoyed this very much, Caryn! Many layers to it.
Thanks!
“angry at all different politicians”
perfect =).
Back when I used to go to church, I liked the singing best too, although for different reasons. I love to sing, and have a little voice training and am reasonably good at it. I also used to become a bit of a monster if people weren’t ready on time and were threatening to make us late and make me miss the best part. In fact, I can also kind of trace my journey out of Christianity by my increasing disconnect with the lyrics of the songs.
Funnily, nowadays when I very occasionally attend a Sunday-morning-church, I do still like the singing best–even though I find the lyrics quite strange and mostly don’t believe the things we’re singing, I do love to sing along.
I also have the other wierd experience that even though I’m not a Christian and don’t do church anymore, when I sit down with my guitar to just chill out and play and sing whatever comes into my head, a solid majority of the songs that do come into my head are worship songs and hymns from my youth–the ones that I sang Sunday after Sunday for all those years. They are part of my enstorying, and I’m okay with that =).
Thanks for your delicious evocative writing.
I hear this time and again–that even when people “leave” the faith or church, the songs stay with them. Interesting. Wherever you’re at, hope you keep singing them. They ARE part of your story–all our stories, actually.