[Editor: This one of the top five most read posts on BreakfastReading. As we prepare for Advent, we thought it a worthy reflection]
by Susan Lawrence
We kids stared at the speaker, who had just opened an umbrella and now held it over his head. “You see, kids,” he exhorted, “God’s will is like an umbrella. When we stay in God’s will, then we’re under the umbrella and protected from what falls around us. But when we get out of God’s will,” and he stepped to the side of the umbrella and flinched as if getting hit with rain or sleet or baseballs, “God can’t protect us, and we get hit by troubles until we get back in God’s will.” He righted the umbrella over himself and smiled at us. We blinked back at him, absorbing the visual and its accompanying message.
That was over 25 years ago. I don’t buy it anymore. God’s will is not a place.
Right now, I’m laboring spiritually with a friend as she searches for God’s will in her life, including if she should marry a specific man—or let that relationship finally go—and what job she should accept out of several offers in different cities and one overseas. Spiritual tongue in cheek, I was trying to think of the “magic verse” that would solve all her dilemmas. First verse that came to mind is one that cleared away the smoke for me when I was at the tender and intense age of 15, trying to determine my future.
You will show me the path of life;
in Your presence is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Ps 16:11)
Back then, I focused on the first thought in the verse, which brought me peace. If God were willing to show me the path of my life, then I didn’t need to get in a corkscrew about it. I considered sending that part of the verse to my friend and thought, “Not enough. She has to know NOW what to do.” And then the rest of the verse dawned on me, connected with its first truth, and for the first time, I saw them as two sides of the same coin. Excitedly, I wrote as much to my friend and continued:
“…because, on one level, I think none of these decisions is an evil in itself. This relationship is not flat-out wrong. Any of these jobs would be good, solid, interesting jobs in your field. All the decisions facing you are amoral—without morality. It’s what you bring to them that makes it moral or otherwise. And here’s why: God is showing you the path of your life, the possibilities of the path, and man, they’re rich, and they’re full, and they’re all affirming. And on one level, it just doesn’t matter what you decide to do, or even what you decide to pursue with this relationship, because even if you make the ‘right decision’ and stay under the ‘umbrella of God’s will,’ you will not have fullness of joy or taste the pleasures of the Lord if you are not in His presence, daily, asking Him for HIM, absolutely regardless of where you are, what you do, or whom you’re with. If you don’t seek Him and long for Him and worship Him, it doesn’t matter how right you get the answer to the first part of the verse, to getting the path right. Because, in the big picture, it doesn’t matter whom you marry: You will have to be the same kind of wife to any husband you live with, and God is bigger than any marriage. Because, in the big picture, it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do: You will have to work hard and be faithful to the job you have taken, and God is bigger than any job.Ultimately, they’re all the same because they all require the same from us: faithfulness in staying in His presence.”
But the umbrella approach is easier to swallow than this Biblical thinking. With the former, if I make the right choice, then I can think I’m “safe.” With the latter, I must labor over the decisions while staying in the presence of the Lord, daily, keeping close to His right hand, no matter what decision I make, remembering that God is bigger than any place, any job, any marriage, and certainly any umbrella.
God’s will is not a place. God’s will is His presence.
__________
from the archives, originally published April 11, 2011
Photo Credits: art.com, fecielo.com
Interesting blogging. I see your point. The umbrella does seem easier, but we are also promised suffering. It seems with the umbrella idea, we have a false hope of no suffering. (Suffering being the promise of God so many like to erase out of the equation these days.) But I do believe the choice about “who” we marry can greatly impact our walk with the Lord. We do go under the umbrella of our husband when we take that vow, and if we marry someone whose heart is not fully the Lord’s, we are yolked to that. I am not sure I can agree with the statement that “In the big picture, it doesn’t matter who you marry.” b/c why would God tell us not to be unequally yolked, unless there are dangers to avoid in that? Marrying someone whose heart is fully the Lord’s has mattered a great deal in my walk with the Lord. My friend who married when she had strayed from the Lord spends her days trying to survive life. Though she walks with the Lord, she has a hard time flourishing as a result of her choice. Thoughts? Did I misunderstand you?
Well, Sara, you’ve zoned in on the one point that I’d hoped wouldn’t be taken out of context.
I wouldn’t say you’ve misunderstood so much as you’ve taken just part of that point and overemphasized it.
Let me delineate.
We tell our teenage Sunday School class this, from time to time: “On one level, it doesn’t matter whom you marry because you’ll have to be the same kind of spouse no matter what. Of course, you can make it MUCH, MUCH easier on yourself by your CHOICE of spouse.” And that’s what is meant here.
Don’t separate that one statement from the rest of the discussion, though, because what is also meant is this: No matter whom you marry, you will still have to find God’s will for your own person day by day through being in God’s presence. Just getting the person “right” doesn’t guarantee your finding God’s presence day in and day out. That’s the crux of this discussion of finding God’s will. Just being in the “right” place or marrying the “right” person and getting the “right” job does not guarantee that you will be in God’s presence. Within marriage, of course, two minds and two hearts both searching for God’s will and His presence daily is the goal, and makes finding His will potentially easier for each individual in that marriage. Yes, a thousand times, yes.
The statement you’re unsure of was written to a specific person about a specific relationship, between two Christians. It’s not meant to be removed from the disussion and used as liberty to go against Biblical teaching (i.e. being unequally yoked).
I feel for your friend in her unhappy & challenging marriage. I’m grieved for her, that it is so hard just trying to survive; but I’m glad for her that she is trying to be in God’s presence now. So many women are in her situation.
Thanks for writing about this and giving me the chance to clarify more what I meant by that statement. Now. Did my long comment help clear it up what I meant?
We are much in agreement on this, I believe.
Thanks for taking your thoughts further on this, I appreciate it. Yes…and it is entirely possible to marry a very godly person and then live totally outside of God’s will after. I guess my main point is that I feel a choice of marriage partner is the second most important decision one will make in life, after the one to follow Christ. And as such, I want to advise my children to really choose someone with good character, who loves the Lord more than anyone or anything. In a world that pulls marriages apart, it is so important to choose wisely. I think of when Abraham sent his servant to find a bride for his son. He looked at her character displayed by her actions. Thanks for your thoughts!
Well spoken, Sara.
I really enjoy reading your writing, Susan. This post rings true for me. Loved the way you set it up with the umbrella– I can remember learning to see things this way when I was little and then, more recently, unlearning it. The answer you’ve gone with is really hard, not a cop-out, it’s living day by day. I don’t think God’s “will” is clear-cut very often, especially when decisions are pretty neutral, like with your friend. I think you’ve made a good point– it’s not always what we choose that is important, but what we bring to it. Hmm, more to think about.
More to think about, YES, and especially at your very interesting time of life, Kelsey. These kinds of discussions remind me some from my own college days, where people would ask things like, “Do you think there’s just one person out there for you to marry?” And that, I believe now, is the wrong question altogether anyway.
Really good thoughts on this topic, and thank you especially for dealing with that “umbrella thing.” That has grated on me for ever so long. Hope more will “unlearn” that wrong thinking. I appreciate this blog for the great writing, and how you all handle topics with humility.
Glad you were freed from a weak metaphor, Rebecca. I never liked that umbrella thing, either, but it wasn’t until laboring over Psalm 16:11 that I figured out why not. “Unlearning” wrong thinking, YES. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who quickens our understanding as we study the living Word and helps us in our unlearning.
Thanks for your gracious words on our writings.
Love your thoughts here, Susan. Somewhere, someone told me that God’s will is often taught as if it’s a bullseye that one must hit (hence, all sorts of anxiety about which college to choose, which spouse, which job, which turn to take, etc). And they said that they’d discovered that God’s will was much more akin to a wide grassy field.
The shepherd leads us to the field. Where we eat in that field is up to us.
(Wish I could give credit where credit is due, but I can’t remember who said it…am pretty sure it was from a book somewhere, but…)?
That so resonated with me. Yes! That feels much more right! The borders are wide. It’s not a small bullseye that we need to worry about getting right—it’s a wide thick field with plenty of room for all the individuals in it—those who want to buck and play, those who want to lay down by still waters, and those who want to feed in various different areas, within the borders where the Shepherds protective, careful and loving eye stands ready to work for our good.
Within hours of reading this blog, I read a testimony of a man who had made all the “right” decisions and looked to be faithfully serving the Lord (under the umbrella) but was actually in his heart far from God. He detailed how his heart had leaned unto his own understanding even as his position maintained its steadiness, and he shared the painful process God used to shake him from his mistaken complacency(from Lost in the Middle by Paul David Tripp). This man’s story along with this blog and the comments about the bullseye remind me to seek His will even though my “major” decisions have been made. Not to mention there are more major decisions in the world than are dreamt of in most philosophies.
Susan, When I saw the title of your article I thought “Yes!” Being in “the umbrella” or “bullseye” of God’s will has given so many people anxiety and I’m learning there’s so much more freedom. Years ago I had a conversation with a mentor about prayer. We were talking about how God wants us to participate in the decisions and plans for our life. I remember saying “So, that means I have a choice?” It was like this lightbulb went on for me. Prayer/Seeking His will became more exciting because it felt more like a discovery rather than trying to uncover this secret plan that felt so elusive. Good things to think about!
Amen to that. There IS so much more freedom in God.
Thanks for sharing, too, what your mentor said. Paricipating in decisions through prayer: that is a wonderful way to look at it. I’m reading George Muller’s autobiography right now, and I can see this truth played out in his life. That man prayed constantly, working out God’s will for his life, for his co-workers, for the orphans under his care…all through prayer and collaboration with God and His will.
VERY good things to think about.
Wonderful post. “A man’s heart deviseth his way, but the Lord directeth his steps ” Prov. 16:9
Very good post. I love the title particularly.
I grew up in a very religious environment. And they always implied that to leave their group was to ‘leave’ God’s will. I always felt as if I would lose my part in the great story of life if I were to leave.
But I did leave, and much to my surprise my ‘story’ went with me. I didn’t fall into nothingness and I continued to find spiritual battles to fight and people to help.
This, although probably silly, was quite a shock to me. I began to realize that life is not about where we are (geographic location) and what we do (vocation) at all. Life is about who we become through Christ. So in a strange way it is all about where we are (spiritually) and what we do (our character), but not in the normal sense of those phrases.
I don’t think God really cares whether I take a job in Houston or a job in Seattle. He cares about whether I am the type of person that will show Christ to others in Houston OR Seattle. I’m sure there is plenty of ‘my Father’s business’ to do regardless of location. I must be willing to BE the type of person that can do the work.
I have read all your comments, In almost 60 years of life, 45 walking with Jesus, I have come to understand that God is most interested in our ‘direction’. The desination is ultimately known, (we will be like Him). The raod is sanctification, it’s a process. We can make wise choices or unwise choices based upon how God has lead us in our past and how we have pressed into Him during our life. I also loved the field analogy, 23 rd psalm really comes to light here. However, one point, though in many ways our choices are amoral, assuming they are not imoral, we do have ‘works that God has selected for us to do before the foundation of the world. It is in pressing into Him DAILY that we are enlightened about such works. Our culrure has lost the meaning of vocation. we think “it’s just a job” That is not the essence of the word as it was first used during the reformation and it’s great thinkers and men/women of God. They saw the word as more of ‘the work God has appointed for me to do before the foundations of the world’ that places a different weight on vocation, an eternally valuable economic, God’s economy is never waisted. By all means walk with God daily, a must, know that He desires that, and that is to be our desire, seek ye first the kingdom…, but also know that God is grand enough to take even our poor choices and decisions and remake them for His Glory. To me that has been the secret. I’ve made poor choices in my life of 60 years, but the beauty is God has redeemed them for His names sake. I really enjoyed reading each of your thoughts thank you. Our God is so very faithful, graze bountifully in the feild beside the still waters, and as CS Lewis said in Narnia, go further up and farther in, press into Our gracious Lord.
Thank you, Kevin, for writing from your wealth of experience. I appreciate that, and thanks for pointing out that God is “grand enough” to take all our decisions–the great ones, the poorest ones–and remake them for His glory.
“Further up and further in,” indeed! I love that part of the Narnia story.
Benji, I’m very late replying your wonderful comment, but I do want to write here that I appreciate your words very much. It’s a wonderful truth to know that God is interested more in US than in what we DO. Thank you, thank you for sharing that with us.
This was a lovely blog and has certainly shed light on my own difficulty in my walk with the Lord, but in an encouraging fashion, and for that I am grateful! Thank you!
Thank you, Tanya: I’m very glad it was encouraging in your walk.
You’re very welcome, and thank you for writing.
Susan–thanks for writing. I like your criticism of the silliness of the umbrella paradigm.
I find myself wanting to translate that about which you are writing into my own understanding of the world, which by and large doesn’t include God. What you are saying makes a lot of sense to me. Happiness and fulfillment are not about what relationship(s) or work I pursue or don’t pursue. Happiness is about where I choose to be, attitudinally, moment by moment. This is a powerful and delicious belief, and it sounds to me like it is as powerful and delicious inside a belief-system which includes God as it is inside one which doesn’t. Hurrah!
Also–I want you to know I heard what sounded like gentle dislike on your part toward my responses not being about the central theme of your writing, so this is my best attempt to understand and engage that theme. =).
Hi Susan,
I have been thinking about the use of the word will as its so often used next to the word God. I also grew up in the church believing God’s will was a pre-set secret script for life that He had which i had to conform to.
I think this view depersonalizes God and dehumanizes me.
It depersonalizes God because I think it makes him seem more like a robot with a big boring book of the future than a real, living, loving, embracing Father and friend.
Doesn’t the word ‘will’ refer to the actual conscious deliberate action of or ability to make a choice? Not so much to the actual choice itself?
People usually think of God’s will as his ‘plan’ like its Gods to do list or some thing
But i think it refers more to his process of decision-making.
So when romans 12:2 says renew your mind so you can know what god’s will is, it is saying allow yourself, by the Spirit, to be transformed in your thinking so that you can think like God.
So then to conform to his process of decision-making is to conform to his way of thinking…
And I can CHOOSE to do this because I also have a will, or ability to make my own choices….he is not forcing me to do anything.
Even jesus had to CHOOSE to do his fathers “will” or align his life with his fathers desires or wishes. Mat 6:10, 26:42, jn 6:8
This is so freeing for me because for too long i saw God as a Mystery who was trying to make me DO something. But Jesus came to bring us to our Father. And this is a loving, freely chosen relationship.
Thank you for opening up this dialogue. So many are still under the weights of works-based living, not relationship-driven, love-compelled thinking.
2 cor. 5:14
Greg Koukl opened my eyes to this about a year and a half ago with an article he wrote entitled “Does God Whisper?”
It’s such a relief to know that when I make decisions I don’t have to strain to hear God’s whisper so I can stay under that elusive umbrella of his!
We can abide in him, make wise decisions, and trust him with the results : )