You mentioned something originally that I wanted to respond to… not knowing what to do about a “new masculinity” emphasis even in your own church. My observation is that at the root of this need is a real identity crisis. Men struggling with the sufficiency of an indwelling Christ and the fullness of what we have in Him, will try to define themselves by some external performance measure. Of course we see this with all identity crises: women’s femininity, pastoral authority, teachers’ credibility or scholarliness, etc, etc.

My prayer is that we would move away from anything that we would like to define us, and move towards Christ Himself who gives us uniquely powerful identity as original expressions of Himself within each of us.

Anyway – on the issue of what’s to be done, there are two direct ways for refuting any lie. The first is to irrefutably show that it’s a lie. The problem that arises here is that when someone’s perceived identity is at stake, he or she will fight pretty hard to preserve the lie. The second approach is to saturate ourselves in the Truth. Knowing who we are in Christ, and discovering the sufficiency of His grace (as if we can really grasp the fullness of “every spiritual blessing” seen in Ephesians 1!), will increasingly call us all to the revelation of false identity in each of our own lives. The Truth really is embodied in Christ Himself, and sets people free. Which is to say, continue to relate pertinent Truth as you are now doing, even looking and praying for opportunities within your church community to teach relevant truths of identity in Christ, and I believe that truth often will do it’s own work in people’s lives (if authentically received).

By comparison to the Truth of who we are in Jesus, a false identity based on poorly founded performance measures of masculinity (or anything else, for that matter) will seem paltry and insubstantial.

Enjoying this and the Narnia discussions greatly.

ridiculously graced…
-mike
(Luke & Shannon introduced us after the LWW on Thursday).

I’m with you that if we leave our discoveries of gender to the cerebral alone, much will be lost. And even my approach to the “new masculinity” is one born out of community and an invitation into community (like my post and these comments).

And I think the ‘dance’ is a gentle metaphor for the genders. There is only one deficiency God said Adam had in the garden and it was that he was alone. So he put another, a dance partner so to speak, in the garden to help him with that (not be his servant nor his underling, but his partner). And as we learn the dance of love, those who better know the steps, whether male or female, instruct and teach those who don’t, whether male or female.

I hope you didn’t get from my post and this discussion that the pursuit of appropriately gendered humans is only one of the mind. Indeed, it involves every human faculty in community and every gift of the Spirit available to us. Jonalyn’s got a great approach in her book (Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home), including exercises that move into deeper soul formation and the meaning of the body with a gendered soul.

Good stuff, if you haven’t read it yet!! I hope all is well!

As I’ve worked in varied educational settings over the past nine years, I see the question of gender identity as one that is foundational–and largely missing from the identity development of the youth I have taught. I appreciate how Eldridges have pushed this into the public arena, and how you and many others aren’t content to leave their shallow theology unquestioned. And yet I believe that if we leave definitions of masculinity and femininity to the realm of the cerebral only, we too are missing the mark.

This is a whole-person question which must be addressed with all of who we are, continually learning to submit this development to a Biblically informed Lordship of Christ. For me, asking what does it mean to be a woman–with my heart, soul and energies as well as my mind. Why did God create me to be a woman, to reflect my unique reflection of my maker into the world at this specific point in history? How do I more fully live into this as an expression of authentic discipleship–not out of some cultural or institutional mandate, but to answer the call of the Shaper and Lover of my soul?

While in Chicago a couple of weeks ago I went Salsa dancing with a friend. I am a novice dancer, but had a marvelous time learning from the different men who asked me to dance, from one how to turn, another how to hold my torso still, and still another how to understand what direction his hand was indicating for me to move. I was reminded that Lewis explored this metaphor of the dance when talking about the difference between maleness and femaleness in his “Preface to Paradise Lost”. It takes a different kind of strength to follow…and that doesn’t mean that I am defined by having a partner, but there is a special mystery in this dance. As parts, and as a whole, it is a mystery much worth exploring.

Tyler Newberry (dot com)

I will check out Zohar!

And I did sense you were “keeping us in line” for our comments, so thanks for clarifying. No worries.

And, you know, when I look at my own life there’s a lot of diversity into stereotypically “masculine” and “feminine” things. I enjoy the outdoors as well as the theatre stage. And when I shot an elk I didn’t feel more masculine or “doing what I’m supposed to be doing” any more than when I’m doing a lot of other things. The time I feel most ‘alive’ is when I’m being creative, using my gifts, loving and connecting with others. I get a similar pleasure out of performing a poem as I do out of wrenching on my Jeep. It is sad that ‘activities’ get labeled with gender-types.

Like Jeff said previously, I think the issues have little to do with gender per se and have more to do with our host culture. I also find it unfortunate that cultural apologetics, research psychology, and the arts are largely left untapped and unconsulted in the men’s church movement today. Critique and applause is largely left up to lay-people and pastors with little historical background. I know thoughtful male and female philosophers (some of whom posted on this thread) who are quick to point out that the masculine distinctions are fraught with irrationality and inconsistency. The truth will set us free; but a lie will tie you up.

That men need a safe place to unload their issues is great. Let’s have those. Let’s get all the porn and adultery and insecurity and curses from poor parenting out on the table. Let’s confess and be cleansed. But let’s not pretend a new masculinity needs to be invented in order to do that.

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Cara, thanks. That means a lot coming from someone as thoughtful and savvy as you.

_____

Lorijo,

Thanks for commenting. Captivating is fraught with many of the same problems as Wild at Heart. In fact, it defines women on a similar model. Beauty is the essence of woman? That is so foreign to the history of ideas it is difficult to even swallow. So Michaelangelo’s famous “David” statue doesn’t show us that men are also beautiful? Humans are beautiful. That’s the Biblical idea. That women are “pursued” is quite different than beauty. And the culture of masculine pursuit fuels much of a woman’s need to be ‘attractive.’ I think this, at the end of the day, is another example of how we do not view women as dignified image-bearers of God. (That could stir up a hornets next with some, but I think some thoughtful reflection and observation will show that the pressure of women to be dolled up is an example of unhealthy gender stereotypes. It hurts teens and adults alike.)

I could go on, but I think Captivating is a decent starting point for women to think about the gender, but if left at that, it is potentially poisonous if swallowed. Women do not need to be rescued by a man. They need to be rescued by Jesus. Men need healthy, undistressed women. And women can have adventures of their own. They weren’t designed to be only adventurous with a man. The knight in shining armor bit has never helped the cause and dignity of women.

So there’s a soapbox for you!

You are right that Promise Keepers, etc., have done a lot of good to encourage men into virtue and faithfulness. That is fantastic. My only gripe with the newer masculinity movement is how masculinity has to be redefined in order for men to find virtue. And, on top of that, virtue is not a gendered quality. For all the calls for men to be courageous, we also need women to be courageous. Courage is not a male or female thing. It’s a human thing.

Whatever is uniquely masculine and uniquely feminine about humans I am pretty sure it isn’t the confusion coming out of the “new masculinity” movement. Men are not more spiritual mature, morally virtuous, or thoughtful by nature of their gender. Only certain men are better at it because they have worked at it. And certain women are better at these qualities because they have worked at it. It’s a matter of a human working at it. Not a matter of being born as a certain gender.

Did you know that in colonial America, when a divorce happened, children were awarded to the fathers because they were viewed as moral leaders. A hundred years later, children were awarded to the mothers because they were viewed as moral leaders. Cultural attitudes shift through the generations. Today people want to be careful to say men and women are both morally capable (though children are more awarded to mothers still). Yet many streams of conservative evangelicalism still say men are spiritual superior when they say that men are the spiritual leaders of the home (a concept I’m still trying to find in Scripture.)

I’m with you when I see Jesus transformed (deconstructed) into the image of the most recent movement to hit the marketing airwaves. Few have taken Jesus in his breadth. Richard Foster’s Steams of Living Water does a good job showing that.

as a female…I haven’t considered this subject much. I have only read the Staci Eldredge book for women, Captivated. And that was several years ago now…

I do have a hard time swallowing the idea of Jesus being a Manly-man, or a warrior ready to march into battle or beat his chest…as if that is something to be proud of. I have always found those loving, tender, gracious men (not necessarily effeminate) but kindhearted men with more of the fruits of the spirit are what I am more drawn to. I can see what you are getting at, and I’m pretty much in agreement. I think some of the men’s movements like promise keepers etc. has been good, to an extent in promoting faithfulness and encourage men to stay committed to their families..(right?) but to portray Jesus as something He isn’t…or wasn’t portrayed as in the Bible is mildly and concerning and frustrating.