Comments on: What Makes Good Mothers? http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html developing ideas about women and spirituality Tue, 07 Sep 2010 04:42:09 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Jonalyn http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1556 Jonalyn Mon, 24 May 2010 17:51:00 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1556 Candice, I love what you wrote about gaining the trust of your child. This is not a guarantee, is it?! Thank you for sharing your desires to value their otherness, what a good goal for all of us. Candice,
I love what you wrote about gaining the trust of your child. This is not a guarantee, is it?!
Thank you for sharing your desires to value their otherness, what a good goal for all of us.

]]> By: Candice http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1305 Candice Fri, 05 Mar 2010 11:35:58 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1305 I think my biggest most important thought to add to this discussion is that my children are not my enemy. I do not want to engage them in a battle. I do not want to view them as adversaries. I want to build a relationship with them from when they are infants, where we are close and they trust me. Trust me that what I tell them is in their best interest. Always treat them with respect and dignity that I am treated as a fully grown human. Respect their otherness. To strive to not use punitive things because their behaviours are inconveniencing me, and using punitive thing seems like a "quick fix". to remember that children learn through repetition, and yes you will find yourself saying the same thing over and over, but one day they WILL stop what it is and they WILL outgrow it. and remember yourself how many times God has to tell you something, until one day it just clicks and you get it in a way that you never have before. and that in the end, by respecting their otherness they will at the very least respect your values if they find themselves with different ones. I think my biggest most important thought to add to this discussion is that my children are not my enemy. I do not want to engage them in a battle. I do not want to view them as adversaries. I want to build a relationship with them from when they are infants, where we are close and they trust me. Trust me that what I tell them is in their best interest. Always treat them with respect and dignity that I am treated as a fully grown human. Respect their otherness. To strive to not use punitive things because their behaviours are inconveniencing me, and using punitive thing seems like a “quick fix”. to remember that children learn through repetition, and yes you will find yourself saying the same thing over and over, but one day they WILL stop what it is and they WILL outgrow it. and remember yourself how many times God has to tell you something, until one day it just clicks and you get it in a way that you never have before. and that in the end, by respecting their otherness they will at the very least respect your values if they find themselves with different ones.

]]> By: Jonalyn http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1272 Jonalyn Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:21:43 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1272 Alisa, I think this idea of being a scholar of our children goes even beyond allowing our children to be different from us. We often tell parents we speak to on the road that a child is not really free to own their faith unless they are free to disown their faith. The longing to know that your child loves God is something I share with you, however, unless your child knows he can count on your love even while fully rebelling against God, our love is conditional. The love of the father in the parable of the lost son (aka parable of the lost son) is a great picture of how I want to love, without conditions. I've seen too many parents express what they call "disappointment" upon their children for not following God and the children end up with an obligatory (or worse) a false faith. There is nothing so powerful and in the end an enemy to love as fear of disappointing a parent. For perfect love casts out all fear. I'd imagine your sons feel loved and valued by you as you fight for their souls. My, somewhat controversial, question is do they feel loved and valued even if they reject God. Is that a viable option for them? Can they reject God and still to receive your love because they are your sons, made in God's image? I think it's a question for all for all of us. Thoughts? Jonalyn Alisa,
I think this idea of being a scholar of our children goes even beyond allowing our children to be different from us.

We often tell parents we speak to on the road that a child is not really free to own their faith unless they are free to disown their faith. The longing to know that your child loves God is something I share with you, however, unless your child knows he can count on your love even while fully rebelling against God, our love is conditional.

The love of the father in the parable of the lost son (aka parable of the lost son) is a great picture of how I want to love, without conditions. I’ve seen too many parents express what they call “disappointment” upon their children for not following God and the children end up with an obligatory (or worse) a false faith.

There is nothing so powerful and in the end an enemy to love as fear of disappointing a parent. For perfect love casts out all fear.

I’d imagine your sons feel loved and valued by you as you fight for their souls. My, somewhat controversial, question is do they feel loved and valued even if they reject God. Is that a viable option for them? Can they reject God and still to receive your love because they are your sons, made in God’s image?

I think it’s a question for all for all of us.

Thoughts?
Jonalyn

]]> By: Jonalyn http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1271 Jonalyn Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:13:29 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1271 Thank you all for the book suggestions, insight and feedback! This has been an encouraging read (and week) for me. Due date came yesterday and went, and still not baby. But I did get a great snowshoe in :) Halee and Sandra, Another way to read Proverbs 22:6 (or any Proverb for that matter) is as probability. Just like "a gentle answer turns away wrath" while usually true doesn't work 100% of the time. In the same way, we can raise up a child in their path (according to their unique bent), or to love God, but this doesn't work 100% of the time. I think a case can be made for either interpretation. I love the idea that the qualities of wonder, learning are valuable in all relationships and therefore valuable between parents and children. I hope my son is willing to be a scholar of me, too. Thank you all for the book suggestions, insight and feedback!
This has been an encouraging read (and week) for me. Due date came yesterday and went, and still not baby. But I did get a great snowshoe in :)

Halee and Sandra,
Another way to read Proverbs 22:6 (or any Proverb for that matter) is as probability. Just like “a gentle answer turns away wrath” while usually true doesn’t work 100% of the time.

In the same way, we can raise up a child in their path (according to their unique bent), or to love God, but this doesn’t work 100% of the time. I think a case can be made for either interpretation.

I love the idea that the qualities of wonder, learning are valuable in all relationships and therefore valuable between parents and children. I hope my son is willing to be a scholar of me, too.

]]> By: Jonalyn http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1269 Jonalyn Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:54:21 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1269 Want to see some photos that explore the contradictions of motherhood? Visit: <a href= "http://artandmotherhood.com/february-22/comment-page-1/#comment-90" rel="nofollow">Art and Motherhood blog</a> You won't be disappointed, you will be made to think. Want to see some photos that explore the contradictions of motherhood? Visit: Art and Motherhood blog You won’t be disappointed, you will be made to think.

]]> By: Susan Lawrence http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1266 Susan Lawrence Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:18:30 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1266 I do like what Dr Dobson says about parenting through the early years. The child should know two things by their third birthday: (1) you (the parents) love him unconditionally, and (2) you (the parents) are in charge. Both give the child security on several levels. Articulate blog, Jonalyn. Fun stuff, too. :) And now, I'm off to read some Berenstain Bears books to my son! :) (This is the gravy part, btw!) I do like what Dr Dobson says about parenting through the early years.
The child should know two things by their third birthday: (1) you (the parents) love him unconditionally, and (2) you (the parents) are in charge.
Both give the child security on several levels.

Articulate blog, Jonalyn. Fun stuff, too. :) And now, I’m off to read some Berenstain Bears books to my son! :) (This is the gravy part, btw!)

]]> By: Jonalyn http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2010/02/what-makes-good-mothers.html/comment-page-1#comment-1259 Jonalyn Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:06:59 +0000 http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/?p=537#comment-1259 Here's a great example for why the rest is just gravy. Read NY Post's <a href = "http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/sling_arrows_sVlbRCVbVdX656cMGoQe5M" rel="nofollow">"Manhattan moms war over strollers vs. slings" </a>. Favorite line: "People are too judgmental of other people’s parenting system. There’s too many controversies. I feel like life is complicated enough.” Here’s a great example for why the rest is just gravy. Read NY Post’s “Manhattan moms war over strollers vs. slings” . Favorite line: “People are too judgmental of other people’s parenting system. There’s too many controversies. I feel like life is complicated enough.”

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