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3-2-10 – Part 7 – Slip ‘n Slide
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
The growing pressure on Finn put so much force on my back I was quickly reminded me of how I had injured my tailbone 5 years ago. Finn’s head on my tailbone was growing in intensity similar to the debilitating cracking sensation I had felt years ago.
At that point someone offered a mirror so I can see what was going on. Surprising myself I wanted to see, Dale was saying he could see Finn’s head of hair. I thought, “I’ve got to be close!”
I’m glad I didn’t know I still had an hour left of pushing.
In the mirror, I looked surprisingly well, not scary, even somewhat normal, I thought.
I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror as I began to bear down for another series of pushes and I remember thinking, “Wow, I look intense, but I still look like me.”
That helped. Knowing I still looked like Jonalyn, not some out of control, distorted, birthing monster—as the jokes and myths might have led me to believe–made me feel more dignified and grounded in reality.
In the mirror I saw Finn’s dark circle of hair deep inside me. Even in the mirror he looked far away. Someone suggested I reach down to touch his head. I felt like even that stretch movement would be impossible given the intensity of the contractions. But I leaned to the side, stretched my hand down and brushed his head with my fingertips. It was too surreal for me to process that he was actually going to come out and be separate from me. I felt too exhausted to think more about it.
Another contraction, another need to push came on and I was just focusing. About this time I heard Dr. Ahlmeyer say to a 
nurse in a whisper which was unfortunately just loud enough for me to hear, “This is a really big head!” Another time later I heard her say, “We already have a 2 inch cone head happening here.”
My poor baby’s head, I thought for a brief moment. But even given this news, I felt no urgency to push harder or faster. After having talked with friends I realize how grateful I am for that gift of patience and peacefulness. I didn’t cannonball him out of my body which gave my body time to stretch.
Dr. Leslie Ahlmeyey began to prepare my perineum (skin around the vagina) for delivery. This picture is her table of instruments that I decided to NOT look at to keep myself focused on what I was doing. You can see the baby bed in the background that Finn would soon fill.
She’s the only doctor we know of in Steamboat who actually stretches the perineum with oil to minimize and often prevent tearing. The only difficulty is that the stretching hurts like the dickens. During that next hour I was enduring the pressure on my back, the pain of the contractions, the doubled pain of bearing down and moving Finn lower and further out and then the pain of having my perineum stretched.
A few times I said, “Ouch, ouch, ouch, Leslie that really, really hurts!”
“I know it does,” she would say empathetically and then calmly keep working. As Dale described it, she kept tucking the edges of my perineum around Finn’s head to slowly, but surely widen the opening so his head could slide out.
Let me tell you it didn’t feel like sliding or slipping. It felt like Finn had sandpaper hair and that the walls of my delivery canal were coated with superglue.
When I opened my eyes, Leslie had donned a mask, which gave me more hope that she thought I would be able to push this baby out. She also started to joke a little, “I’ve got your slip ‘n slide all ready,” she smiled.
Her calmness, Linda’s confidence, Dale’s assurance all kept me going to keep on pushing, keep on trying. I’d pull my knees back and Linda and Dale would help hold my legs back with me. Then when the contraction was over I’d release my legs and prop them up on the top of the bar, so I was in a V-shape.
During this time I’d get a minute or so to rest. Dale took a picture of me during one of those breaks.
I’m smiling, which baffles me, and I remember thinking how glad I was that Dale was getting a picture of this moment. Looking at that picture now (which I cannot post for modesty reasons), I remember how Dale leaned in toward me after he snapped it and told me, “You look beautiful.”
Looking at the picture, I believe him.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10
April 16th, 2010 at 7:20 pm
Loving your birth story! Such grace and strength! Your a rock star!
April 17th, 2010 at 11:28 am
GOD BLESS THE DOCTORS WHO PERFORM PERINEUM MASSAGES!! I’d encourage any woman, having an unmedicated or medicated birth to ask their ob/gyn if they know how to do this and practice it. It truly makes all the difference. Leslie sounds much like my doctor, Rob Biter, who understands that women know how to give birth and tuck into their bag of tricks, the art of perineum massage
Continuing to LOVE your story, Jonalyn… thank you for sharing.
And oh how treasured those photos are…