My favorite quote:
“Go ahead and have babies — and get better in sports,” said Russian anchor Olga Zaitseva, 31, in a word of advice to the French and German teams, who won silver and bronze respectively.

Zaitseva told AFP that having her son, Alexander, who was born in 2007, helped her become a better athlete. “My child is my greatest happiness and he is my best little gold medal,” she said. “It has made me calmer.”

While I haven’t won a gold medal, I do think Finn has made me calmer.

That is pretty amazing, to me.

I wonder if more women required that they have the freedom to baby wear if we’d see a change in the opportunities for women to work and carry their baby.

It made me grin to hear how you’re trying to redeem the “momma’s boy” term. Glad for you!

Kimberly,
Thank you for reading and commenting here. I want to see that paternity leave legislation or at least some more incentive for fathers to take time off to enjoy their children. It would be mighty biblical as God always directs his parenting commands to BOTH parents in Scripture!

As I think about your and Dale’s talk, it just makes me smile. I really needed a speaker like you when I was in college. I am so glad the students were so present and interested. And, I am so on board with your conviction that until we can co-parent (and create appropriate legislation to support the practicals of that, like paternity leave), we just can’t get very far with gender equality. Thanks for the work that you do!

Great point that this “special” relationship is often mistaken for good parenting. I’ve seen that time and again.

Glad I can keep you thinking

Lorene,

So wonderful to have your voice back. Thanks for reading and commenting. That quote does represent a privileged minority… it is true.

I wonder what you’d think of this statement,
“We cannot find our independence or our worth from our work alone, be it child-rearing, our careers or our volunteering. We must find our independence in what God has sealed into us: female bodies, feminine souls. And these will not change, regardless of life stage or season, work, advantages or disadvantages in life.”

Perhaps the secular feminist falters when she endows her career with all the power to validate her existence. If so, then I’d say the Christian mother falters when she endows her mothering with all the power to validate her existence.

I think the work God gives us, to fill our days, is just that, a gift. It can be taken away. I can lose Soulation, I can lose Finn, but still remain significant, valuable, amazing to God.

I agree with you that we must guard ourselves from putting our work ahead of people in our family. I love how we both came to the conclusion that women who stay home with their children can still be emotionally absent if they choose (e.g. spending all day on facebook or email). Perhaps the challenge and burden so many working outside the home moms feel is that they want to be more present with their children. The ones I know who work outside the home (and do it to my mind well) are very intentional about being very present with their children when with them.

I will look up The Mission of Motherhood. So thankful for your perspective.

One question I’m wrestling with daily is how to integrate Finn into my work in a way that builds his soul and shows him I love him. If I can do this (with Dale) well, I think those I serve in my ministry will also benefit. For instance, I think the audience at Biola benefited from seeing Finn with us. I also think as Finn grows he will be able to enjoy our work on the road, as we’ll make field trips of our travels and integrate our work with his homeschooling. I like to think people who I help with Soulation who hear I have a baby to nurse or rock understand that I can’t type as long or talk as much. I hope that they benefit from knowing I’m loving my husband or my son well in this time.

From your growing cousin,
Jonalyn

Mandy,
Thank you for cheering for me/us! I have put you and Josh in our balcony section to remind me of the audience that roots for us.

I share Lorene’s hesitation that the model of kids at work is not going to be the model for all or most women, but I do appreciate the challenge and the possibilities in this–one of many creative ways of re-envisioning our lives as families.

I must thank you for previously recommending The Mismeasure of a Woman by Carol Tavis. I struggled with conclusions/apparent attitude in some parts (feeling like by overstating the case, perhaps she was creating some harm for women who really do struggle, for instance, with severe PMS), but I really liked it. Also, it substantiated some speculative writing in one of my books. I wonder how it would bump up against the Hildebrand book, for Tavis seems a bit shy on ascribing difference.

Although it has already been said, I see our need for independence crucial in order to healthily interdepend and also to understand what we are bringing to the table.

Just this last week, I used the phrase momma’s boy in a positive sense, encouraging a woman that it is good that her son is in some ways content to be a momma’s boy while also being a teen. She seemed to hesitate a bit at the phrase until I completed the sentence and then smiled in recognition that I understood the dynamics, seemed relieved to embrace the phrase as a “good,” and began bubbling on comfortably. In my own family, it has been used negatively as a cause of concern for one of my nephews. I think there has been some reason for concern, as he was slow on the independence/socialization thing. But I also started to recognize that the family was pressing a mold and not seeing him fully as he really is–perhaps b/c of a touch of anxiety. As has been said, both momma’s boy and daddy’s girl can be unhealthy. I also think they can be very good or appropriate.

I am appreciating all of the input here from readers.

Deb