Are you curious if faith, feminism and Christian womanhood can intersect? You've found the crossroads. Ruby Slippers is the sparkly nexus of femininity, spirituality and sexual renewal.
What does Feminism Mean to You?
I was 19 years old at the University of Virginia and suffering.
I had enrolled in Women in American Literature and felt instantly intimidated by the strong, articulate and (to my mind) ANGRY feminists (was their a more vitriolic combination?) sitting beside me.
I was so freaked out I ask the professor to let me opt out of the group project (unfathomable for my duty-oriented posture). If he said no I was planning on dropping the class. Unthinkable.
From "Feminism is Evil" site. Photo credit: www.jesus-is-savior.com
I actually called him at home and begged to be excepted from forced proximity to the other women in the class.
I was afraid I’d stop caring about being sexy.
I was afraid that any prospective husband would sniff me out and drop me like a cold potato.
I was afraid feminism would destroy me and all my goals to get married and have 12 children.
I was afraid I would stop wearing long skirts and high button boots.
I was afraid I’d become a pro-choice, women’s libber and immediately unhook and burn my bra.
I was afraid feminism was contagious.
I wanted to keep myself unsmeared by the world and all it’s anti-God beliefs.
Have I mentioned that I was a Christian?
The professor told me I didn’t need to be so afraid.
And I didn’t. It would be four years before I would catch feminism,
and it would be from my husband, not one of these girls.
Confused about Feminism, or Certain You’re Right?
Mary Kassian Photo credit: thegospelcoalition.org
A Christian author and speaker, Mary Kassian, shares on a popular Christian website Revive our Hearts: Calling Women to Freedom, Fulness and Fruitfulness in Christ (a tagline that doesn’t match the little experience I’ve had on their site) that she knows what feminism is and does to godly Christian women.
View the video here: Feminism and the Christian Woman.
Kassian’s work, both in her book The Feminist Mistake and this video are great examples of ignorance. I don’t want to charge Kassian of willful ignorance. So let’s just say she’s unaware.
Kassian and others like her, teach women to be afraid of the word “feminism.”
And teaching others to be ignorant and afraid, too.
It was Kassian’s propaganda in videos precisely like Feminism and the Christian Woman combined with Rush Limbaugh’s mockery of feminazi’s that terrorized me to be afraid of all the females in my Women in American Lit class.
Interestingly, Kassian was raised in Canada.
I spent last week in Ontario, Canada, in a small rural community (hence my late post this week) with friends from Dale’s college years. I walked past their Mennonite neighbors and smiled as the teen boys commented on my baby wearing Finn. They looked at me, curious and somewhat puzzled. I thought of how wordly I might look to them, in my blue jeans and platform boots marching along the frozen road with Finn bouncing on my back.
Back inside I asked these Canadians, G and S, to give me a gut reaction of what feminism meant to them. Don’t think about it, just tell me, I said.
G grew up in a small village in the Asian Pacific. The night before, someone had bemoaned feminism coming into the church. “I just have no idea what that word means,” G said honestly.
S grew up in Virginia. “Feminism makes me think of equal opportunity, everyone gets a shot,” S said. As an afterthought, “Feminism is not very sexy.”
What do you think of when you hear the word “feminism”? Does it mean anything good? Or is it a mostly dangerous, wordly, un-feminine, godless, selfish group of women (and some pathetic men) who are angry most the time?
Demonizing out of Ignorance
It is wicked easy to demonize. Most of us do it every day. We think we know about a group, evolutionists or feminists, lesbians or vegans, snowboarders or pastors. Oh, we know THEIR type.
Christians, particularly evangelicals, do this as much as anyone else. But we hate it when people do it to us.
There is a simply remedy, 3 Tools, whip these out next time you start demonizing.
Tool # 1
No matter how sure you are about any group of people, look up their movement in a good ol’ dictionary. I like dictionary.com or American Heritage online. Find out if the negative associations you have of this movement are accurate with how the adherents describe themselves.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines feminist as someone who adheres to feminism.
Feminism:
1. Belief in or advocacy of women’s social, political, and economic rights, especially with regard to equality of the sexes.
2. The movement organized around this belief.
By the American Heritage Dictionary’s definition, I believe Jesus was a feminist.
Does that sound shocking?
Jesus regularly placed women into honorable, valued, equal places with men. He praised Mary for learning with his disciples at his feet (Luke 10:42 – social equality), he accepted the female patronage of women who financially supported his ministry (Luke 8:1-3, Mark 15:40-41 – economic equality), he healed and forgave women that men were ready to stone (John 8:1-11 – moral equality), he put his stamp on the Old Testament where God appointed women like Deborah to rule and judge Israel (political equality) and propose to men (social equality, see Ruth in the book of Judges).
Kassian teaches another definition of feminism. In the first sentence of her video she says feminism teaches women to treat her own authority as God, let me quote Kassian supposedly quoting feminists, “This is the way I want the world to be, this it the way I want men to be, this is the way I want God to be.” Feminism, according to Kassian, teaches women to disregard and fail to bow to God.
I guarantee you can find feminists that do not love God (or feminists who aren’t particularly loving, feministing, for instance, or feminists who are pro-choice) but you can also find quiet wives sitting at home cross-stitching roses that do not love God. The existence of sites like Feminists or Life, Evangelical and Ecumenical Women’s Caucus: Feminism Today, blogs like ChristianFeminism and resources like Christian + Feminist should indicate the story is a little wider than Kassian has shared).
For a speaker and teacher like Kassian, I believe we need to hold her to a standard of a little more research.
Feminism isn’t a good litmus test for someone’s god-fearing or godless state.
Tool #2
Don’t judge a thing by it’s abuse. In other words, don’t look at the abuse or practice of feminism and accuse all feminists of guilt. That’s as bad as accusing Jesus of starting the Crusades.
Kassian states that Betty Friedan started the feminist movement in the 1960′s.
Photo Credit: vfa.us/Suffrage.htm
Come ON!
Feminism is not the new kid on the block, nor was it invented with Friedan.
I can think of quite a few people and even some movements that believed in the equal treatment of women. Jesus for starters. The Society of Friends (or Quakers, the denomination of my youth) started by George Fox in the late 1640′s (not 1960′s) believed in the equality of women before God in church and home. For more see footnote 16 in “Far as the Curse is Found”, Ruby Slippers.
The relatively new kid on the block, the United States, has enjoyed two major waves of feminism.
First wave began in the mid-1800s during the Second Great Awakening. Christian women began speaking out, publicly, against alcohol abuse. Prohibition, among other things, revealed women’s social power to change America. With females speaking in public places to abolish alcohol, women became recognized and recognized in themselves a force of political and religious renewal. This first wave of feminism was dominated by Jesus followers who turned this new-found power to talk about other issues as well, the end of slavery and the vote for women. Let me say that again, the first wave of feminism in America was run by Christians. Christian Feminists. Look ‘em up, they’re for real.
First wave feminists used these early feminist’s Prohibition momentum and secured the vote for us today. It is because of feminist’s work and beliefs that you or women you know will cast their votes this the Fall.
Second wave feminism began in the 1960′s and continues into today. It gleaned cultural and politically equality (more famously known for securing birth control and legal abortions). This is the wave most people think of when they hear someone is a feminist. For more about feminism’s waves see History of Feminism. Read more about the way feminism was originally a Christian idea in Janette Hassey’s book No Time for Silence: Evangelical Women in Public Ministry or her summary chapter “Evangelical Women in Ministry a Century Ago: The 19th and Early 20th Centuries” in Discovering Biblical Equality ed. Groothuis and Pierce
Kassian claims that this new movement of feminism (I believe she’s only referencing Second Wave American feminism) took women on a path that was not what God wanted. Even if we only speak of second wave feminism Kassian fails to recognize how much feminism continues to do for women. For instance, a book I regularly recommend, Sex for Christians, came to print because the theologian and author, Lewis Smedes found the 1960′s sexual revolution revealing. Feminists brought problems and questions to light that society had never formally addressed.
We cannot judge the 1960′s simply by failed experiments like free love at Woodstock. The pressure to move women into the full-fledged realm of equality is a direct benefit to women throughout the world. And most importantly, reflects the image-bearer qualities God imparted to the first couple in Eden. Feminism cannot be quite as godless as Kassian wants us to believe, even if adherents use and abuse the term to make it appear so.
Tool #3
Ask a person who is in a group if what you have heard about this group is accurate. If you think vegans are scary healthy and obsessed, get to know one (hint: health food stores) and see if you can have a conversation without lapsing into prejudism or rolling your eyes. If you are think most lesbians don’t know Jesus, take a moment and venture into the My Faith Hurdle Question “What if I’m Christian AND Gay?” and read Cara and my exchange. Scroll down to Dec 3, 2011 to see the beginning of a conversation between two Christians, one homosexual and one heterosexual.
It would have helped Kassian if she could have brought a true, living feminist to interview and glean from before assuming feminists all count their own authority as the most important.
It’s been awhile since I’ve been immersed in a culture so unfriendly to feminism, but it once was a culture I used to eat and breathe. I even made a home video with girlfriends mocking feminists. We called it Ms. Roger’s Neighborhood. It was all about loving Bill Clinton and putting men in the kitchen. I think I broke every tool I’ve just written about here.
Photo Credit: feministsforchoice.org
So, if feminism isn’t really all about killing the unborn and burning bras, why have Christians made it appear so scary?
Why so much fear-mongering and ignorance about feminism?
A good question. What do you think?
p.s.
I’d like to thank Chrissa for originally asking me to explain Christian feminism in a recent comment on How to Spot and How to Treat a Chauvinist.
p.p.s. Please do not mistake me to be saying that I believe men and women are interchangeable parts. Men and women are different, that’s why I originally wrote Ruby Slippers, I wanted to explain how women are both feminine and free in Jesus’ kingdom. Our differences are one of the reasons, I believe are, God asked man and woman to take dominion, subdue and fill this earth together, side-by side (see Gen 1).
The way you go about achieving feministic goals (man-bashing for instance, verses carefully argumentation and love) is very important to God. So is the reason you want certain “equal” rights. This blog is a place I try to think through the best way to promote equality while maintaining distinctness between the genders. This is, I believe, one of the reasons Jesus came, to set the prisoners of the gender war free.
And many would agree that women are imprisoned today.. if not literally by human trafficking, then socially, politically, religiously. And if women are imprisoned, according to 1 Corinthians 11:11, so are men. For a secular admission of this exact idea see Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. One short example: the USA’s Terrorism Department noted countries where women were empowered as places terrorism would be less entrenched. The increase of power and opportunity for women directly reduced terrorism’s capacity to grow. Sounds like hope to me.
February 16th, 2012 at 1:58 pm
This is valuable and a great post, Jonalyn. Actually, I was feeling as if you’d just got started…would love to keep reading along these lines. (Had a great chuckle, too, at your description of the tagline for Revive Our Hearts.)
p.s. Just to clarify, I meant that my own answer of “equal opportunity” to your question “what is feminism?” wasn’t very sexy-sounding. “Equal opportunity” sounds fairly dry & textbook, not exciting or sexy. But it was my first reaction. As to whether or not feminism is sexy, I’ll have to think about it.
February 17th, 2012 at 10:06 am
Thank you, Susan. I often feel my posts are too long.. you encourage me.
YES, I’d like to write and talk more about equal opportunity and excitement… you’re completely correct… equal opportunity sounds like a game of my-turn-your-turn ad nausea. Feminism sounds like pushing for rights with a clip-boad in hand. But that’s not the way Jesus did it.
And that’s not the magical, creative, romantic experiences I’ve had in my equal marriage.
I believe the very idea of sexy and romance needs a good scrubbing.
What makes romance delightful?
Is it the feminine helplessness in a tower and the masculine conquering on his white horse? Forgive my bawdy mind but that sounds like only one sex position and not very delightful for all times and all places.
We need new metaphors as feminists push into these topics and refuse to see romance, as secular feminists will, as women in turn dominating men. All good romance, like all good stories, must involved equals taking themselves serious, which in turn allows play, mystery, laughter, creativity and growth. Those last five are foundational prerequisites for all good sex, don’t you think.
So feminism can yield sexiness, but it doesn’t always. Much depends on how you go about insisting upon equality. Another post needed, I think.
What do you think?
February 17th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I’m not Susan, but can I vote Yes?
February 19th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
heck yes you can!
February 16th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
An interesting topic. Why is there so much fear-mongering? From where I stand, people tend to look at the negative aspects of a movement and then jump to the conclusion that everyone who identifies with that movement is like that.
It is much “safer” to just keep believing what you’ve been taught your whole life. People are like sheep in that it is easier to follow the crowd they are in.
I think there are two reasons for this:
1. We’re afraid to be wrong. We couldn’t possible be wrong, could we?
2. We don’t want to be looked down upon by the very people who have taught us these things. It means standing out in the crowd.
This idea of just believing what you’ve been taught could be applied to other issues as well.(i.e. wine in the Bible, tithing, etc.)
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve always had the impression that even though the feminists of the 19th century were God honoring, most feminists today are like the bra-burning kind of the ’60′s.
More food for thought.
February 17th, 2012 at 9:59 am
Jennifer,
Some interesting feedback. What do you think makes people judge a movement by all the negativity it causes? It’s ironic because this, in turn, causes more negativity.
Safer, sheep, yes, sounds like what Jesus said.
Fear of being wrong is what keeps us from living. Remind me of the line from my favorite movie, Strictly Ballroom, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.”
Here’s to keeping our minds open and our undergarments intact
March 5th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
I think people judge a movement by the negative side, because humans tend to gravitate towards negativity.
Think about the news. What sells the news is the negative side of the stories. Yes, we like to hear happy endings, but if the journalists focused on those kind of stories, they’d be out of business.
Also, for some reason, it’s easier to believe what we’ve been told than it is to take the time to look into something and study it out. We’d rather just look the other way and pretend that everything is A-Okay with what we believe.
February 16th, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Great post! Anti-feminism is about ignorance and fear. I think people are truly ignorant of what men and women have sacrificed in the past to enable us to live in a freer society today. I think women often fear taking responsibility for their own lives before God and defer to their “leader husband.” Feminism in most Christian communities is like the “f-word”, they forget to look at what is behind it.
Thanks for for the tools we all need them.
P.S. Have you ever heard of Christians for Biblical Equality? It is a biblically based and balanced group of egalitarians.
February 17th, 2012 at 9:57 am
Mary,
I appreciate you commenting here. Thank you.
The friends I know who have developed an anti-feminism stance are sometimes motivated by fear, almost always by ignorance. I’ve also seen precisely what you’ve shared: fear taking responsibility of their own lives. It’s too much growing up for some women to do. Sometimes I think feminism gets linked with childishness.
Have you also seen the tendency to blame the victim for society’s ills, e.g. blaming a girl for encouraging a rape by wearing tight clothes. Why does the Christian culture tend to blame women for the current state of the church or the home when so few women are given power in church and home? I think of the situations in lower-income homes, in gang dominated culture or African-American communities where male abuse and sexual aggression over women (much of African American rap encourages this attitude) continues to skyrocket black women into the highest rates for early sexual experiences, teen pregnancy and welfare. It makes me think of Their Eyes Were Watching God and the quote about black woman being the mule of the world, the lowest of the low, the most heaped on black women’s backs and the most blame added, too.
Yes, I’m very familiar with CBE. I’ve attended one conference and find much of their material helpful. I have not had much success finding them to be supportive of me or my work, though. They refused, repeatedly, to endorse or encourage me with Ruby Slippers. I do not think they appreciate how I argue for and flesh out femininity.
February 17th, 2012 at 8:02 pm
on a humorous note. a recent “30 Rock” episode had Jack get mugged and robbed. Liz Lemon responds with “well, dressed like that, don’t you think you were kinda asking for it?”, As he was wearing a fancy tuxedo with expensive cufflinks and such.
Trust Tina Fey to attack that ridiculous idea with hilarity! I laughed so hard and appreciated how they made such a statement sound completely ridiculous!
February 19th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
C.J.
FANTASTIC example… a perfectly apt picture of how the way we blame the victim looks ridiculous if we switch the genders.
Loved it… thank you.
Can you be our resident 30 Rock expert? We need one on this blog!
February 17th, 2012 at 11:18 am
Go, Jonalyn! Loved this. Thanks.
February 17th, 2012 at 11:28 am
Caryn,
Thank you! Love having your cheers
February 17th, 2012 at 1:59 pm
o First, the Church of God (Cleveland, TN) is the oldest Pentecostal denomination, tracing its roots back to a revival experienced in 1896 in the mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina. Among its founders there were women and for a long time there was no distinction between their functions and ministries and those of men. Later on the new century, a leader of the Church imposed the first restrictions on women’s eligibility to participate in the business discussions inside the Church. Some have suggested that these restrictions coincided with the Church’s desire to become part of NAE.
Anyway, along the years, women ministers in the Church of God have been regaining more rights, such as being able to speak and vote in general assemblies, and to fully exercise their callings. The issue remains of full ordination, so that as bishops they may be able to hold administrative positions and be part of the General Council during the General Assemblies. The biggest contention is that in practice, women are serving in all sorts of places, teaching, preaching, leading, even supervising churches. This is especially true of the churches outside of the USA who are members of the Church of God. This year the assembly will convene in Orlando, and again we expect this issue to resurface. And let me add, that the last discussion, held two years ago, was very upsetting to women, as some ministers were very disrespectful towards us. Most men members agree with these changes, but since the majority of the members who come to vote are from the South (and show themselves to be more in line with fundamentalist-patriarchal-right wing thinking sort of Christianity), the measures are not passed. The General Assembly can only vote on what the bishops move forward. So, that’s the biggest hurdle to the ordination of women in the Church of God.
For my part, I was raised in a different Pentecostal denomination in Puerto Rico, where women have always had full rights of participation. This was never an issue to me, until I came to the States. On the other hand, that denomination back home imposed more restrictions on what to wear, etc. But, my dad (a pastor) always encouraged me in ministry.
o
February 19th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Deborah,
Thank you for sharing some background into both the Church of God and the way your Puerto Rican family has supported you in your ministry. I love how different cultures/ethnic experiences can help us think more globally and biblically about how God uses women. I also personally resonate and relate as my Hispanic grandparents have cheered me on in all I do.
Reminds me, in a secular example, of Strictly Ballroom, a movie where you see the Hispanic family support their daughter (of course the subject isn’t ministry but dancing). This is one of my favorite movies of courage and boldness and how it beautifies a young woman. I learned this phrase from watching it, “Un vida con miedo es un vida con media.” Not sure I spelled everything correctly, but the translation is, “A life lived in fear is a life half-lived.”
Thank you for writing in!
February 17th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
I know several women who shrink if I mention feminism, as if by just talking about it they’re not good Christians. That idea alone tells me there is something wrong, because we can’t be salt and light if we can’t even discuss something among other believers. How can a believer have dinner with tax collectors, so to speak (or in current times someone who doesn’t have the same belief system, and perhaps lives a life we can’t identify with), if we can’t even talk about issues?
It smelled like visceral fear to me – fear of not being “nice” and “kind” and “feminine,” things we’re taught to be, but sometimes at the sacrifice of balance. Those are all now words that instead of helping us being more like the Messiah, are tying people down – becoming an ultimate purpose in themselves instead of being tools. Yikes!
I grew up in a home with an anti-feminist (using “feminist” as portrayed by the 2nd wave version seen in America) emphasis, to the point that when I wrote my initials “M.S.” on my eraser and my Dad saw it, he flipped out and started raking me over the coals verbally and emotionally, being really hateful and I had no idea why. There is nothing more scary when you’re a young teenage girl than your all-powerful and incredibly intelligent Dad standing over you shouting like a Naval commander. He was sort-of “barking” at me about how “Ms.” is bad because it’s a feminist tool to take away a woman’s male-associated identity (going with the view that being unmarried or married centered around the men in a woman’s life) versus the idea of using it as a simplified version, kind of like the guys have: “Mister.” They don’t feel the need to show by what preceeds their first name whether or not they’re married. After the adult fit my Dad was having was over, and he left the room and we were no longer too frightened to speak, later one of my younger sisters explained that Dad saw my initials and immediately (apparently because he had such a touchy trigger on the issue) assumed it was anything but my own initials. I was barely a teenager. I didn’t have any agenda like that. My Dad did one thing through that even, and it wasn’t teach me about Jesus or feminism and whether it was good or bad. He did cause me to form the assumption that men hate feminists and good girls don’t buck male dominance. I lived with that assumption until I went to college, and during my senior year met a guy (who I married – Your story resonates with me in that, Jonalyn.) who reversed that idea in my mind, giving me the confidence and freedom to undo years of indoctrination and figure out what Jesus really wants for/from me as a woman.
I shared that story to show how many of us grow up with these perspectives, albeit very untried and unexposed to pragmatic study, like you described in Mary Kassian. I’m not familiar with her blog, but I’m very familiar with the culture.
If there is anything in Scripture that gives me a picture, it’s the word picture of the sheep and the goats. It reminds me of those who hear Jesus voice and follow, and those who hear it, but allow their hearts and minds to be clouded with agenda, indoctrination (versus one’s own conviction and beliefs), and hatefulness (otherwise known as distractions). I’ve always looked back and wondered how all of these people I knew (not saying all past Christian acquaintances were like this) could cling so hard to their ideology that they became as vitriolic and unbendable as the people they say they’re opposing, all the way losing sight of their mission from God – to love people through kindness, truth, and action.
Anti-feminists do Satan’s job for him, being stuck in fear and ignorance. They give the feminists that don’t know Jesus, the ones who are man-haters, all of the power, limiting the Holy Spirit’s work in the world because of the un-Biblical and artificial views and rules they place on themselves, dimming their lights.
One thing I’ve noticed. When people are able to share their voices in freedom (and responsibility) to share truth, lots of people do get angry, because people doing wrong are comfortable in their status quo of power, and they recoil from the light in shame and/or anger. Jesus wants to shed light on them and heal them. Truth is like sunlight on nasty wounds. It’s vitamin D for the soul….and people who haven’t experienced that sunlight have a big place in their souls that they’re trying to fill up with anything they think will make them happy. That includes Christian women recoiling from feminism and any other “taboo” ideas in fear of the unknown (hinting at some untried ideas – perhaps because of indoctrination?) in order to get affirmation and/or acceptance from the men in their lives, or feminists who don’t know Jesus, who hate men cathartically because of past wounds. We all need the truth. We’re all dying for lack of it.
We are all somewhere in the journey to truth, and have to be patient with one another which still sharing it and showing love.
That thing you said about women’s affect on the Prohibition movement – that’s a cool example of the “welcome colors of a woman’s voice.”
February 20th, 2012 at 1:55 pm
Mandy,
That’s a very useful litmus test for checking if something is wrong…. are we afraid to even discuss it? I’ve seen a similar fear come out when discussing words like “homosexuality”, “evolution”, “atheist”, “Wiccan”. Can you help me think of others?
I feel like part of my job is to unveil these words for what they are, what they offer and what they don’t.
I also was trained to view “Ms” as bad, as evidence of women trying to be way too independent. Your story and what it taught you “He did cause me to form the assumption that men hate feminists and good girls don’t buck male dominance” is powerful. I hope all my readers will read it and consider how many of us were trained as young girls about what men love and hate and then trained in goodness based on that. It is backward to put men or women in the job of standardizing goodness or evil, for neither men or women are the standard, rather our Messiah, the God of Israel is our standard.
It’s really neat that our stories are so similar in terms of our husbands.
I love how you said most women associate feminism as being the opposite of what they, as women, are trying to become. Great point. As well, completely agree that many good words like “meek” and “submissive” can be used to keep women from exploring God’s plans and loving those around them fully.
Last night I had a conversation with a friend who helped me realize I need to write more about the ways are called to submit (in terms of mutual submission Eph 5:21). In other words, I don’t want the word “submit” to become a word that makes me afraid, as the word “feminism” makes other women afraid.
Great input, Mandy. Thank you.
February 21st, 2012 at 10:42 am
My husband and I went over the concept of meekness a few years ago. He came home telling me someone told him that he was one of the best examples of meekness they had ever seen, and he considered it one of the best compliments he’s ever been given. He knew from conversation that they were using the word correctly, also. I think just calling it “controlled strength” is a little to simple. That makes it sound like the human who is meek is alone, not pointing to the Holy Spirit working through the human. Meekness is like Aslan, the lion, when he was talking to Shasta in “The Horse and His Boy,” and said, “I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice.
“Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta.
“There was only one lion,” said the Voice.
“What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two the first night, and-“
“There was only one: but he was swift of foot.”
“How do you know?”
“I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”
“Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”
“It was I”
“But what for?”
“Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”
“Who are you?” asked Shasta.
“Myself,” said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook: and again “Myself”, loud and clear and gay: and then the third time “Myself”, whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all round you as if the leaves rustled with it.
Now if we women (and for that matter, men also) could tap into that kind of meekness, people who don’t know God, those who are believers but are distorted, and all of us, would say like the observers in Acts 2: “What does this mean?” in amazement.
February 21st, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Amen, Mandy!
How do we do it?
February 21st, 2012 at 11:07 am
Oh, sorry, you asked about other words. One big one is “sex.” You might be interested in this exchange: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090717160734AA2xjMY Notice Dave P’s answer was voted 100% as the best answer by online voters. Oy vey. It’s not just Christians, either, but also people who aren’t necessarily believers. I was sitting at the table during Phillippino night with friends (two Catholic and one atheist) in Ft. Walton Beach before we moved from Florida last year, and one of the women commented about being frustrated because she feels inadequate in making her husband as happy as he makes her when they’re having sex. I said I could offer a suggestion that I know works well. They all sat up and listened (makes sense when you know you’re going to hear something that works well regarding any subject your interested in) as I explained it specifically. I didn’t think a thing about it, but after that there was a chorus of various comments showing they were thrilled as if talking about something forbidden, and it was fun. I was very startled, because I had forgotten what it felt like to be embarrassed to talk about sex, living in my own head and it not being something that comes up in conversation every day with the friends I talk to frequently. Soooo…I think sex is one of those words.
Also are rape, incest, masturbation, birth control (I’m seeing a theme here – fallen versions of sex…interesting.). As a little girl, I was told the rule of thumb was to never talk about something I couldn’t talk to Jesus about followed with subtitled instructions giving me the idea of what things a nice girl shouldn’t talk about. I remind myself now God is all-knowing, so there’s nothing He hasn’t seen before, and if I can’t talk to Yeshua/Jesus Christ about it, then I’m lost, because He is holy and wise, so really is the best to go to, and I should.
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Mandy,
Some interesting words you’ve added here. Yes, sexual stuff, always very taboo.
Even for people who love Victoria Secret.
Thank you for sharing!
February 17th, 2012 at 8:54 pm
This is a huge topic, but such an important one. Most of the Christian women I know would be loathe to refer to them themselves as “feminists”, though they surely want to be feminine! To be feminine (by their definition) is very Christian (submissive, homemaker, nurturing), but a feminist is a godless, home-wrecker, “God cannot bless that type of woman”. In my experience this is true for younger and older women, which surprises me. But, I think what surprises me the most is that the Christian women I am referring to say all these things, but they don’t really live that way. They say it at church, and in Bible study, and to their other Christian friends, but they want equality in their workplace and in their homes. And when they complain about their marriage, as in it’s not an equal proposition, they feel guilty. Their assumption and self-condemnation is that they “aren’t submissive enough”. I don’t even think their husband tells them that. They have believed, and been taught so much nonsense about this.
When my oldest daughter graduated from nursing school and got her first job, she saved for a year, then bought a condo. She was proud of her accomplishment, and rightly so. She received much congratulation for working hard, saving money, and making this purchase on her own. When she got married, these same people quickly asked her when she was going to quit work, when she was going to have a baby, how was her husband going to handle her income being more than his, if she did keep working?” It seemed that the progress she made as a single woman and the strong person she was becoming was something that was acknowledged and affirmed. But when she got married, these strengths were perceived as a liability. Thankfully God doesn’t look at women that way.
February 19th, 2012 at 2:05 pm
Becky,
I’m glad you introduced the interesting distinction and overlap between feminism and feminine. Such different words with such similar spelling.
I tend to prefer to define feminine as a good thing that God wants to redeem, the thing that dyes our souls and makes us women, the thing that we are without even trying, the thing that makes us a unique image bearer. But you already know all that
I appreciate the duality you’ve expressed so many women are living with. I’ve definitely seen in it: girl’s nights out, women’s retreats, private home conversations about chores, credit card bills, training the kids, personal style/hair/makeup/nails can all be areas when the feminist appears, hungry for some R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I see women at church functions playing the meeker role… and it really is a slimy sight when you know they boss and bitch and complain behind scenes about having to do it all.
The play-acting is what eats us all away from the inside. There is only so much falseness we can play at before we become that vice. What do you think we can do to highlight this double standard and change it?
The way the Christian community expects only ONE right way to raise kids (get married, quit job, stay home) is another problem, too. I get weary that the SAHM get fenced in on all the moral high ground. I think our lack of visible models doing it differently is a cornerstone of the problem.
February 20th, 2012 at 9:06 am
When I think of feminism I think mainly of the “second wave” that you spoke of in the article. Unfortunately, I also think of how the angry feminist “type” so often behave as though the only way for women/ladies to gain equality is to bully, bash & put down men. Maybe it seems silly, but can’t one be a feminist AND allow a man to open her door, get something from a higher shelf, help carry packages?
I see myself as a feminist in that I’m a daughter of a godly Christian women who is feminine. She is by nature of the “meek & quiet spirit” that is taught in the Bible. And honestly, I sometimes envy her that. I am NOT “meek & quiet”. I struggle GREATLY with submission & deference. However, my strong-will is something I’m proud of, too, because as the mother of a special needs son, I am his only advocate & I MUST speak out for him!
I’m also the mother of a 4-y/o daughter. She has my strong spirit, but she LOVES to wear dresses & skirts, whereas I do not.
For a long time I thought that feminism was nearly the polar opposite of femininity. :O I saw (and to some extent still do see) being feminine as how a lady is dressed & how she behaves herself. The equality mantra of feminism seemed to demand that those who are feminists must want equality in all things for all women, but that is NOT a view I share. I think that there are some jobs that women ought not to have, often mostly due to safety concerns for themselves or their co-workers.
I am a work-from-home mom, not to be confused with a SAHM. I work about 20-30 hours a week from home. Thankfully, as an independent subcontracted transcriber, I can choose both my schedule & how much work I take, to some extent.
Thanks for giving me another challenge to my thinking. While challenging our thinking is rarely comfortable, as the late Steve Curington (founder of Reformers Unanimous International) once said, if God intended us to always be comfortable as Christians, we’d have no need for a Comforter, and He wouldn’t have given us the Holy Spirit! Since we do have a comforter in the Holy Spirit, we are obviously NOT intended to always be comfortable!
February 23rd, 2012 at 2:13 pm
Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing the way God has given you boldness for your children and for your work. By the way, I believe Paul’s words of a meek and quiet spirit are something you can smoothly integrate with a bold and vivacious voice.
Loved hearing of another example of a WFHM. I’m in that boat with ya.
Have you read my definition of feminine in Ruby Slippers, Chapter 5? If so, how has that helped in your casting of femininity for yourself?
If not, lmk and I’ll give you the short version here so we can discuss.
Equality mantra, that women deserve a full share of every job… yes I know whereof you speak. Some jobs seem better suited for men or women. Firefighting for instance, for men. But I also think the care and human awareness a woman can brings could greatly humanize the firefighters roles in our lives. I know the firefighters who tended to my husband recently could have used a woman on board. In fact, I think most jobs are better accomplished with both sexes involved.
Speaking of discomfort and challenges, I’d like to challenge you to come up with a few jobs you think women ought not to do… I’d love to discuss them.
Can you tell me more about Reformers Unanimous Int’l?
From one feminist who allows and thanks men for opening the door for her to another,
Jonalyn
February 26th, 2012 at 11:55 pm
I haven’t read your book ~ though I’m thinking it won’t be long before I get to it. Both you & Dale frequently challenge my thoughts on various topics related to Christianity with your writing in a positive, non-threatening & non-abrasive way.
He’s almost always had a “sleeper” rig as opposed to a “day cab” and one of the nicest ones he had was actually better than that apartment he lived in before we got married. 
The first job that came to mind where I thought “that is really a job more suited to men” would be construction, but it was followed quickly by logging (my hubby had an uncle who was a logger & from what he’s said it is very physically demanding work that requires a great deal of strength). I also thought about my husband’s career as a truck driver. While I know that “road life” is possible for women (I’ve gone with him on both short & long hauls before we had kids) it’s not always safe, particularly if a lady trucker breaks down & requires assistance in an outlying area. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying both genders aren’t capable of the job itself, but I am saying that women are not physically capable of fixing some of the more heavy problems involved that a man could. That being said, my husband & I have talked occasionally of “team driving” as a husband & wife when are children leave the nest.
Reformers Unanimous International is a faith-based strongholds & addictions program that is held on Friday nights (the night most people typically “go out” and/or “party”. Chapters are based in local New Testament churches that meet the guidelines & are led by a director who typically goes to the home base in Rockford, IL for a brief period of training. Chapters generally have a teen/adult session as well as “Kidz Club” for 8-12 year old & a “nursery” for 7 & under, although larger chapters often split the nursery to allow bigger kids to play more freely without danger to infants & toddlers.
For more information, feel free to check out the website & http://www.reformu.com. It looks like the nearest chapter is about 75 miles away from you.
Thanks for your candor & openness with regard to both feminism & femininity as they relate to Christian ladies.
February 27th, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Stephanie,
Thank you for this lovely compliment. We do our best to do exactly this.
In Ruby Slippers, chapter 5, I define femininity as the degree to which a woman’s soul owns her female body. In other words knowing and integrating the body difference of femaleness into her soul (her beliefs, thoughts, desires, feelings, spirit).
These are some nice examples of jobs better suited for men. Though I do believe carrying a firearm can situate a woman who is naturally more vulnerable with more strength (more here:http://soulation.org/jonalynblog/2009/11/when-women-carry-handguns-sergeant-kimberly-munley-and-fort-hood.html), I also believe if a job is dangerous for a woman it is probably also dangerous for a man.
The point you made about men’s upper arm strength is a good one. Logging and trucking being good examples.
Thank you, also, for explaining more about Reformers Unanimous International. Always good to know about these programs!