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Free Discussion Guide
My first book
Free Discussion Guide
Published articles online
ArtofFriendship
BreakfastReading
SturdyAnswers
MyFaithHurdle
SecondYearMom
Jonalyn,
I saw your blog through The Marcella Project. When I read it it spoke to my soul. I am a wife (my husband and I have been married 10 years), I am a mother to a 14 month old girl and I am the Director of a ministry to high-risk and sex-trafficked girls in juvenile detention. I am currently in counseling because of the sexual abuse that happened to me as a young child by some male family members. During this time it has brought about an emotional roller coaster of facing not only the abuse and how I see myself but also how my abuse may have had me view my relationships with men. I have had some male friendships in the past but since I am married I felt guilty keeping up with them outside of the work place. I am now seeing a Christian male counselor and have even had doubts of trusting myself to be open and vulnerable to a man that is not my husband about the abuse even though I am not the type who looks for opportunities to have inappropriate emotional affairs outside of my marriage. Over the past couple months through reading the Bible and prayer I believe the Lord is wanting me to have friendships with men. I believe he will use them to help show me that in fact men and women were meant to complement each other apart from marriage and may use men in my life such as my husband and my counselor to show me that godly men can be trusted and can actually help me heal from my past abuse. Then when I read your blog today it truly spoke to my heart. Thank you for your posts.
Christina,
What a road you’ve been on. I’m so grateful for your desire to grow more healthy about the past through therapy and find ways to invite God to heal. Your story is beautiful evidence that God redeem sexual abuse and evil.. incredibly, slowly, painful, he can redeem them.
I am in agreement that God can bring peace rather than domination and oppression between men and women. I think Jesus wants to bring healthy hope and trust between us, and I do believe this complements each other and shows the world more about who God is.
I’m glad you sense God showing you how to trust men again. Wondering if the blog you read that resonated with you was the Harry and Sally are Wrong post?
If so, I’d love to know.
Glad you wrote,
Jonalyn
Yes, it was your Harry and Sally are Wrong post.
Glad I watched the video posted by BIOLA. I connected with two women as friends and purely friends, which confused me and I wondered if this was appropriate even though we are just friends and I enjoy them for who they are and they delight me.
Anyway, I explored same sex friendships online and found very little on the subject. I will subscribe to your blog because I want to read more from your point of view. In fact you remind me of one of my two woman friends who is spunky and full of life and has naturally curly hair. Her dad told her that her brown eyes reminded him of shit. I told her that I have always loved brown eyes. (she is by the way much younger than I am, but she is not like a daughter to me, she’s like a friend)
Her husband did not like or trust our friendship even though he met with me, so we had to call it off, but I do miss her and feel like the way she helped me and encouraged me to get physically in shape, because she is a fitness trainer.
I feel like I’m rambling on, I’m just glad to connect with you.
Glad you found me, Brian. Have you watched the talk I just gave on this subject?
http://open.biola.edu/resources/harry-sally-are-wrong-why-christian-cross-sex-friendships-need-to-happen
That’s the talk that I watched. It really intrigued me because I’ve been asking questions and nobody dared to address the issue until I found your talk at BIOLA.
It’s an important issue because I feel that my female friends complete me in a way, but I don’t desire them sexually. My wife is the first one who explained to me that in today’s world people don’t understand friendship anymore. She insisted that the happy feelings I have and the expectancy to be with my female friends is part of the norm for friendships.
At least I have her to encourage me. Sometimes I wonder though what my best friend’s pastor thinks about it when I show up at her church once in a while to be with her. Last time I saw him he came up to me and gave me a big hug so….
Sorry, I meant to write that I explored opposite sex friendships. I must be tired. lol