Welcome to our first Emerald City.
You chose the questions Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers answered through voting in the comments at Modesty and the Emerald City (Where Tina gives my favorite definition of modesty):
- What does sexual stewardship look like for both singles and marrieds – especially as it relates to desire, attraction and lust? How can we steward our sexuality better?
- How can a single who is committed to celibacy outside of marriage more fully inhabit her/his sexuality in healthy ways?
- Dr. Sellers, I have heard that people who lose their virginity at a later date (28, 30 +) the less likely they are to enjoy sex and the less often they will have sex. Is this true?
- When you say modesty includes “not giving my body away” what did you mean? How is this negative definition helpful when so many women are afraid men already have power to take their bodies from them? Can you give a more positive addition with the same meaning?
- Jonalyn, you mentioned in a post below (in reference to lust) that lust is “imagining sex with someone in a predatory manner involving (but not limited to) taking their body for imaginary use without interest of care for their soul.” What if you dream about having sex with a friend? You care about your friend, yet you want their body. Is that lust too? How do you equate that?
- I’d also like to hear your and/or Dr. Sellers’ perspective on the idea that our beauty/modesty is for a spouse vs. for ourselves. For me, when it comes to dress, I generally don’t use “modest” as a descriptor because of the baggage I associate with the term. I like Situationally Appropriate, Comfortable, Attractive, Confident, etc. What we wear definitely reflects on us, but, to me, there is a vast difference between thoughtful image control and biblical prescription when it comes to covering our bodies or wearing pretty things or expressing ourselves through our appearance.
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Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers refuses to box-up sexual stewardship with rules, her idea that modesty is nothing if not a place of power for ourselves, her word picture of the co-created dance of sex, the knowing laughter when we discover our body works.
You can find Dr. Sellars @TinaSSellers and blogging at Musings by Candlelight.